Israel to construct Water Salinization Plant for Gaza Residents

The Israeli government will begin construction on a “water salinization plant” in Gaza next year in order to “aid Palestinians, who we definitely aid. Like a lot.” The plant will take what remains of Gaza’s clean sources of groundwater and add salt in order to make the water undrinkable. According to water engineers, the plant will use a revolutionary technology known as “shoveling,” where mounds of salt are shoveled into pipes filled with water.

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According to one spokesperson, “the Israeli government does not wish to see the Palestinians suffer, but…you know…you complain to the UN, this is what you get, bitches.”

In related news, recently fired rockets from Gaza contain writing on all missile casings stating, “No, that’s what you get, bitches.”

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