Israel Offers Harry and Meghan Leadership Role

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Israel today upped the stakes in a potential new role for Prince Harry and his Canadian bride. A government spokesman commented, “Western Canada is nice and all, but we feel that the near constant sunshine of Tel Aviv would be more to their liking. And frankly we find ourselves in a situation where we are going to need a new dynasty pretty soon. Preferable one that isn’t likely to be seeing the inside of a prison cell, which is why we’re not talking to Prince Andrew.”

A spokesperson for the ‘renegade royals’ stated, “We would like to thank Israel for their kind offer. However, Canada does offer some advantages over any Middle Eastern alternative. Although the neighbour downstairs may currently be a little ‘difficult’, the missile threat is pretty minimal, and they sorted out the indigenous nations trouble years ago by offering them casinos and the rights to sell weed. So basically, come back to us when everyone is chill and high.”