China has granted Iraq a 99-year lease for Hong Kong after the Baghdad regime promised to deliver “democracy, peace and prosperity” to the former British colony. The surprising development comes on the heels of ongoing US-Chinese tensions over Hong Kong’s status as autonomous from mainland China.
China’s prominent human rights champion turned foreign minister Wang Yi, spoke to The Mideast Beast while tenderly wiping out the remaining stubborn pockets of Tibetan resistance.
“Democracy, freedom, and human rights have always been the guiding lights for the People’s Republic of China. China is therefore proud to lease Hong Kong to Iraq, a true beacon of freedom, peaceful stability, and prosperity in the Middle East.”
The progressive professor Qassam Hussein from the Iraqi human rights think tank The Saddam Hussein Institute for Inclusive Torture shared his expertise with The Mideast Beast. “We welcome the people of Hong Kong to join Iraq’s peaceful, tolerant, and prosperous success story. Since the people of Hong Kong are nicknamed “Asia’s Zionist-Kurds” in Iraq, unfortunately we cannot guarantee their safety throughout the entire lease period, but let’s not worry unnecessarily in advance.”
Aspiring Texan painter and former c0-US President George W. Bush praised the Iraq-Hong Kong deal. “Thanks to my almost successful mission to smoke out Mideast badass folks, Iraq is today a voice of freedom, stability, and democracy in the Mideast. If you are a feminist Jewish-Kurdish transgender vegan liberal, then Baghdad is the place to be.”