In an amicable gesture of peace and cooperation, Prime Minister Netanyahu is expected to announce the transfer of all Palestinian civilian sewage responsibility directly to Hamas’ expertly engineered terror tunnels. This olive branch, a giant leap forward in Israeli-Palestinian relations, seeks to mimic the same working relationship that Israel shares with Jordan.
Netanyahu’s office released a supportive message on the matter: “It is important for Hamas to develop a strong sense of self-sustainability. What better way to promote a job well done than rewarding them with tons of their own shit?”
Various Arab officials have long boasted the efficiency of the system, citing the billions of dollars in international aid used to renovate and sustain it for so many years.
“The unlikely failure of the project will be blamed on Israel, even though we built it ourselves. It’s a risk we would be foolish not to take,” a Hamas representative stated in a recent Al-Jazeera interview. “This is the most sophisticated subterranean system in the Eastern hemisphere.”
In yet another feat of Israeli-Palestinian technological innovation and cooperation, civil engineers have estimated that leftover tears from the Nakba could potentially provide enough hydroelectric energy to power the entire Gaza Strip well in to the next war, although the official date for the newest project remains undisclosed. The water supply is currently being stored near a textile factory next to Dimona.