Hamas Tunnellers Admit They’re Only Digging to Meet Israeli Girls

A number of the men digging Hamas’ terror tunnels recently confirmed The Mideast Beast’s suspicion that most entered the highly dangerous field mainly in the hope of meeting Israeli girls. “All the time the imams tell us about how Israel is just a den of iniquity and sin,” one digger who preferred we not use his name, told TMB. “Who wouldn’t want some of that action?”

A pasty-faced 14-year old who spends 18-hours a day digging admitted to a similar motivation. “In Gaza, second base means a girl lets you hold her shoe. Not with her foot in it, mind you; the whole transaction takes place by mail. My friends say Israeli girls walk around showing their knees to anybody with eyes, like all the time — you don’t even have to talk to them first – and their knees are all firm and tan…excuse me, I have to run to the rest room…”

RELATED: Tel Aviv City Council and Hamas Join Forces

Some tunnel buddies interviewed, however, admit to hoping for more than just seeing some Israeli girls’ knees. “Hamas always says ‘stay pure! Stay pure!’” Another teen tunneller told TMB. “Of course we all worry about dying virgins – what guy doesn’t? They say ‘don’t worry’, if we die as martyrs we get 70 brides in paradise. Can you imagine that kind of pressure on a virgin? I need some hot Israeli girl to show me a few moves so I don’t embarrass myself with my 70 brides in eternity. I bet that they’ll be hot — like Scarlett Johansson hot – but with different hair colors and really firm asses…excuse me… I have to run to the rest room.”

In related news, the IDF recently announced Operation Choke the Imam, a plan to smuggle 10,000 porn DVDs and barrels of hand lotion into Gaza in the hopes of keeping those little diggers preoccupied.

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