Hamas Bans Homeworking for Gazans

Hamas is leading the charge against the tyranny of telecommuting, or homeworking, by banning video conferencing, along with the occasional arrest to really drive the point home. A spokesman commented, “We’ve been monitoring how bosses have been forcing workers into annoying and unproductive online conference calls. We all know how they just raise blood pressure as people forget to unmute their microphones and Karen from accounting keeps getting interrupted by her five-year-old. Shut the fucking office door Karen. And let’s not forget Jeff who ‘hilariously’ isn’t wearing pants. Dick.”

“Here at Hamas we’ve embraced Slack. It’s not Zionist, as far as we know, which is unusual for clever software. It’s allowing us to work smarter not harder, for when social distancing is lifted, and we can get back to pushing people whose lifestyle we don’t agree with off the nearest building. And Muhammed has started a brilliant ‘NSFW’ channel which is just full of memes about when suicide bombings goes wrong. It’s a real morale booster.”

A spokesman for The Mossad commented, “We’re totally reading all their IMs. And yes, those memes are very funny.”