SUPREME COURT, USA and SANA’A, YEMEN — For years Yemen has been experiencing the (currently) worst humanitarian crisis of the 21st century, a country throat punched by war, famine, and pestilence, and much like Ivanka trying to mingle, they too are consistently ignored by global leaders. However, Yemeni diplomats felt a flicker of hope yesterday after watching the Supreme Court blow up and decimate Trump’s (and other Republicans’) disastrous attempt at an ‘election overthrow’. Now that Trump has experienced what it feels like to bomb, Yemenis are hopeful that he will finally come to their aid.
“They’re saying that Trump’s 544th lawsuit since November 3 totally bombed” said one Yemeni diplomat. “We know how that feels, so if he needs someone to talk to, we’re still here. I know Trump didn’t really get our sense of sheer loss and devastation before but, damn, that SCOTUS decision must’ve been rough. For Trump, that’s as bad as being indiscriminately murdered and starved to death for a decade. Maybe now he’ll help us.”
Appealing to Trump’s empathy may seem like a pretty far-fetched plan, but in Yemen’s defense, literally nothing else has worked. Some citizens, however, are less certain. “We saw his disaster relief efforts in Puerto Rico, what’s he going to do here? Throw paper towels at us in a desert?”