“Fifty Shades of Grey” Author Praises Saudis for Upgrading Flogging to Pleasure

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E.L. James, the British author of the bestselling erotic trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey, has praised Saudi Arabia for upgrading flogging from punishment to pleasure. The Saudi decision to change the status of flogging is part of wider liberal reforms, pushed by Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman (MBS) to modernize the slightly conservative Islamic desert kingdom.

E.L. James spoke enthusiastically about Saudi Arabia to The Mideast Beast from a London swinger club. “By upgrading flogging from medieval punishment to daringly progressive pleasure, Saudi Arabia is finally embracing modernity. I am therefore delighted to announce the release of my new book Fifty Shades of Kinky Jihad. It is a steamy romance between a dominantly loving Saudi patron hitting on a submissively ungrateful Yemenite servant.”

James revealed that there are advanced plans to produce a Hollywood movie based on her new Saudi-Yemeni love story. “We are going to bring the MBS and Ilhan Omar onboard as the main actors. Needless to say, Mrs. Omar will be playing the dominant Saudi lover.”

James concluded by encouraging Westerners to be open-minded and embrace “the Middle East’s rich sadomasochist traditions. We all fantasize about spicing up our boring love relationships. Blow your lover’s mind away with fashionable ISIS suicide bomber belts or explore Ayatollah-invented rope-free bungee-jump adventures from Tehran’s romantic cranes.”

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