Culture

Evangelical Christian tourists radicalized by ISIS

Evangelical Christian tourists radicalized by ISIS

Foreign Embassies are advising against all travel to Israel’s Upper Galilee region following reports of evangelical tourist groups becoming radicalized by ISIS. Groups of Western God botherers, inspired by ISIS’ presence on Israel’s northern border, have seen an opportunity to further their own religious aims while on tour in Israel. The Israeli Daily (TID) contacted one of the tour organizers responsible for sending the groups.  Bob Logan of Plainold, Texas, told TID: ‘These ISIS heathens are clearly misguided. Instead of shooting...

Report: Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, is pregnant with the Messiah

Report: Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, is pregnant with the Messiah

Addressing the crowds from above the clouds, in a loud, booming voice, God, looking pretty proud of himself, announced that Kate had conceived the child naturally and not via Immaculate Conception, which he dismissed as ‘an absolute load of bollocks’: ‘There’s no such thing as an ‘Immaculate Conception’. Who ever made that shit up had some pretty fucked ideas about sex. The truth is, I’m probably the only one man to knock up Kate. Then I thought, since I was...

El Al to operate first entirely kosher plane

El Al to operate first entirely kosher plane

In an important announcement from El Al earlier today, Israel’s national airline broke the news that they will soon be operating the world’s first entirely kosher airplane. In a move that delighted the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and confused pretty much everyone else, the airline’s press conference overran by half an hour while a spokesman explained just what a ‘fully kosher’ airplane would entail. The Israeli Daily can now reveal (after some carefully drawn diagrams and arm-waving explanations from El Al...

Bomb maker’s death raises concerns about children and plastic explosives

Bomb maker’s death raises concerns about children and plastic explosives

“Whatever you do, you must not push this button,” the elderly bomb-maker tells the 10-year old boy as he shows the child the suicide vest. “This button?” the boy replies, pushing the button and separating the bomb-maker into two. Today, the death has ignited a powerful debate on the dangers of children and explosives, and whether responsible bomb makers should place their lives in the hands of irresponsible youth. Hamas master bomb-maker Hous bin-Pharteen enjoyed working with Palestinian children. “They...

Brave raiders fail in UK supermarket objective

Brave raiders fail in UK supermarket objective

In an incredible act of bravery approximately 100 British citizens protesting the recent war in Gaza raided a supermarket, and they did what no one thought was humanly possible: they removed items from shelves. One aging onlooker noted, “I mean, you hear stories about people doing brave and heroic things, you know like in war, but you rarely get to witness it. The way that some of the protestors grabbed things like fruit and pepper without dropping them…that’s bravery-medal material....