International peace efforts for the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict were recently given a boost by the introduction of bacon sandwiches to the breakfast buffet in Cairo.
Dore Steinwitz, professional Israeli apologist, commented, “these are mental! Why did no one ever tell me about these before? I admit that since the invention of the refrigerator, I’ve been a little hazy on the need for the ‘no pig’ rules. But I never realized how batshit crazy they tasted. To be honest I’d be willing to open serious discussions on the return of the Golan Heights for another plateful.’
Yusef al-Yusef, an amateur fireworks enthusiast and full-time Hamas operative, was equally thrilled, “Fuck my life! I admit that gourmet cooking has been rationed during the misunderstandings over the past years, but even taking that into account these are amazing! Can someone hand me a copy of our charter? I really think we should add something about bacon being back on the menu. We can replace it with the bit about the ‘Jews hide behind rocks and trees’.”
He added, “don’t tell anyone hanging out at our underground lairs, but I’m sick of hummus.”
Kobi Baskin, a peace-talk catering manager was more relaxed. “You think they’re excited now? Wait till we tell them we’ve got pulled pork baps for lunch. We expect a peace deal by tea time.”