Danny grew up on a small family farm in downtown Manhattan, New York. Like Jesus, he was raised by his mother because, also like Jesus, his father was always busy working. He studied the Gladiatorial Arts at the University of Phoenix before dropping out to pursue a career in music. He was one of the original members of One Direction, but was asked to resign for being, ‘too drunk.’ If you ask him though, he left of his own accord because he didn’t want to be in a band with, “a bunch of stupid jerks.” After hitting rock bottom, he took an interest in politics and began writing for The Mideast Beast. He literally can’t remember any other part of his life. He is also smarter than you and everyone you’ve ever known.
In a bizarre twist today the Arab League voted almost unanimously to extend their ‘Israel does not exist’ policy beyond the government. In a statement to the press earlier today the League stated, “If Israel doesn’t exist, then it follows logically that people from there don’t exist either. We will return to business with this conclusion in mind.” This decision...
