Danny grew up on a small family farm in downtown Manhattan, New York. Like Jesus, he was raised by his mother because, also like Jesus, his father was always busy working. He studied the Gladiatorial Arts at the University of Phoenix before dropping out to pursue a career in music. He was one of the original members of One Direction, but was asked to resign for being, ‘too drunk.’ If you ask him though, he left of his own accord because he didn’t want to be in a band with, “a bunch of stupid jerks.” After hitting rock bottom, he took an interest in politics and began writing for The Mideast Beast. He literally can’t remember any other part of his life. He is also smarter than you and everyone you’ve ever known.
As the rest of the world marked the 70th anniversary of the liberation of the largest Nazi concentration camp, the Iranian government took the occasion to acknowledge a different event. “As all reasonable people now admit, the Holocaust is a hoax perpetuated by the Zionist regime. Because of this fact, we are celebrating the 70th anniversary of the Auschwitz ‘concentration...
In a rare instance of fraternity, this week the Autobots and the Decepticons issued a joint statement expressing joy at the decision by the oil titan, OPEC, not to reduce production in order to raise oil prices. The two groups are normally known to be bitter rivals, but decided to issue the statement as a unified group due to its...
Mr Estevez looks very familiar, like someone you might recognize had the years been kinder. He has an odd accent for a person who claims to have lived his whole life in beautiful Buenos Aires, Argentina (image above). Spanish with a twinge of something stern that’s hard to place. This polite old man has been claiming in recent days that he...
27-year-old New Jersey native, Tony Marini, was taken into custody by the FBI earlier today under suspicion of connections to the terrorist organization, Hamas. Marini has been denying the association since his arrest. The connection in question? Marini’s HBOGo account. A months-long FBI sting uncovered the fact that Hamas leader, Khaled Mashal, has been watching Game of Thrones via Marini’s...
In a bizarre twist today the Arab League voted almost unanimously to extend their ‘Israel does not exist’ policy beyond the government. In a statement to the press earlier today the League stated, “If Israel doesn’t exist, then it follows logically that people from there don’t exist either. We will return to business with this conclusion in mind.” This decision...
