US and Israeli Leaders Meet to Swap Prison Tips

By U.S. Embassy Tel Aviv - President Trump at the Israel Museum. Jerusalem May 23, 2017 President Trump at the Israel Museum. Jerusalem May 23, 2017, Public Domain,

Insiders have admitted that a much-anticipated meeting between Israeli and US leaders to launch the latest peace plan with the Palestinians, is in truth just a great opportunity to get ‘big-house’ ready.

A spokesman for the White House commented, “The President is excited to have someone to show off his first attempts at home made shanks which he’s crafted from a nine-iron, and the ‘America First’ tattoo that Trump Jr. has inked across his back. He’s confident the bald eagle in a MAGA cap will look ‘badass’ when he’s on the weights in the yard and should place him in excellent stead with the Aryan Brotherhood.”

An Israeli spokesman said, “Compulsory military service has of course already placed Mr. Netanyahu in an excellent position to rise to the top of any prison hierarchy. The plan is to ‘krav maga’ the face of the first person who ‘steps’ to the PM. After that things should be easy.”

Both sides admit there are still some diplomatic niceties to be ironed out in the event that the two become cell mates. Conventionally the US superpower would expect the top bunk, but it’s expected that Israel will exert its dominance during shower time. Apparently, in an all-male supermax, ‘grabbing them by the pussy’ takes on a whole new meaning.

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