University of California, Berkeley has responded proactively to critics who claim that the school trampled on academic freedom when it suspended a Palestinian history class.
Administrators have hired prominent Palestinian religious figure Arash al-Rimi to teach a new one-credit Gender Studies course titled ‘Palestine: Getting Laid under the Zionist Jackboot.’
While the ‘Palestine: A Colonial Settler Analysis’ course was subsequently reinstated, “we must do more to obsessively espouse a single viewpoint that makes us feel less shitty about being white, middle class, American, pre-dominantly male and mostly straight,” stated one university official in the Department of Worthless Courses.
al-Rimi said that his class will “raise consciousness about how the Zionist overlords are affecting the Palestinian people’s reproductive choices, solo sex, partner sex, orgasms, sex work, communication, consent, relationships, gender/sex-based violence, empowerment, and of course fucking in tunnels.”
In related news, Israel’s Education Ministry has announced a series of changes to the country’s school curriculum. According to Education Minister Naftali Bennett, “Courses such as ‘Moses Invented the Light Bulb’, and ‘Why Jews are Better: God’s Point of View’ will teach Israeli children that in today’s hypercompetitive digital world, superstition and ignorance are the keys to success.”