Top 10 Listicles The Mideast Beast Will Thankfully Never Write

The Mideast Beast is your trusted source for front-line reporting on the Middle East, a publication of unimpeachable journalistic integrity that holds itself to the highest standards of meticulous coverage and astute analysis. In fact, unlike other, slower news outlets, we don’t even have to wait for the news to happen to deliver a comprehensive report of them to our readers. This is made possible through TMB’s unrivaled network of intrepid on-location reporters who would sleep with anyone, as many times as it takes, to get the scoop. And thank Allah for them, because otherwise we’d have to run clickbaity listicles about the Middle East like other, second-rate news agencies.

Here’s are the top 10 listicles your soul will be spared the torment of enduring:

  1. 12 burqas that will make your man crazy in bed
  2. How to cut down on political dissent in your emirate with 3 easy tricks
  3. These 20 Sunni militants launch anti-tank missiles, you won’t believe what happens next
  4. The 7 hottest sectarian conflict flare-ups of summer 2018
  5. 417 centrifuges the Iranian Revolutionary Guard isn’t telling you about
  6. How to die a martyr’s death for the glory of the global jihad in 9 easy steps
  7. 72,501 signs you are an oppressed victim of unprovoked zionist aggression
  8. 57 Improvised Explosive Devices that will blow you away
  9. These 8 autonomous drones will restore your faith in humanity
  10. 28 pictures of desert sand you need to see this morning