President Donald Trump has taken credit for reportedly warmer Saudi-Israeli ties. It comes after it was revealed that Saudi school textbooks lovingly refer to Jews as ‘monkeys’ and teach Saudi school kids that ‘Islamophobic Zionists’ plan to take over the Middle East from the River Nile to the River Euphrates.
President Trump spoke to The Mideast Beast from his Mar-a-Lago golf course.
“Honestly, nobody has better people skills than me. Half of America loves me, and the other half is still struggling to appreciate the stable genius that is me. Thanks to my superior diplomacy, our Saudi allies have generously upgraded the Jews from ‘dogs’ to human-related ‘monkeys.’ Frankly, it is quite mild language compared to my locker-room references to Jews, specifically Crazy Bernie and Mini Mike Bloomberg.”
President Trump denied the ‘ridiculous accusations of white supremacism antisemitism.’
“Some of my best friends are kikes. You might have heard of some of them like Bibi Netanyahu and my accidental son-in-law Jared Kushner who against my better judgement annexed my daughter Ivanka. My loving Jew grandkids remind me that the U.S. and our American Yids have a great socialist-free future once Crazy Bernie retires 2050.”
Meanwhile, Iran’s Foreign Ayatollah Ministry accused Saudi Arabia of plotting ‘Ayatollah-phobic’ conspiracies in cooperation with ‘US-Zionist animal farm proxies’.
A senior Iranian official spoke to The Mideast Beast on condition of anonymity. “You can’t fool our supreme intelligence leader Ayatollah Khamenei. It started with coronavirus-infected Chinese-based Mossad bats. Our glorious Islamic battle-ready forces will repel any invasion by racist-infected Zionist dogs, lizards and monkeys.”