Santa Claus is being held by ISIS-K fighters in Afghanistan, as the Islamic State in the Khorasan Province is demanding an ‘Islamic Christmas’ be adopted by Saint Nick. “For too long, this red-suited infidel has passed over the houses of countless Muslim children to deliver gifts to these non-believers,” said one ISIS-K fighter in a video delivered to Al Jazeera’s...
Looking to tap into Americans’ nostalgia for Christmas movies, the Islamic Republic of Iran has released a modern remake of the holiday classic ‘A Christmas Story.’ But instead of nine-year-old Ralphie Parker, the main character of the remake is 82-year-old Persian boy Ali Khamenei. And rather than asking Santa for a BB gun, Little Ali just wants a military nuclear...
As if supply chain disruptions weren’t bad enough already, Tuesday evening Santa’s sleigh became jackknifed in the Suez Canal, blocking boat traffic indefinitely. While attempting to unload a pallet of PlayStation 5’s from a cargo ship for the few good Christian children in the Middle East, Donner and Blitzen backed up too quickly, tangled their reigns, and lodged Santa’s Sleigh...
