Minister of Parliament: Israel “Not Expanding,” State is Just “Big Boned”

Earlier today, when confronted with the question of why Israel has been expanding settlements in the West Bank recently, Knesset MP Yaron Cham responded with a novel answer.  He claims that contrary to what many people say about Israel, the state isn’t expanding.  Rather, Israel is just “big boned.” Furthermore, MP Cham seems to be offended at the very notion, maintaining that “big bones” are nothing to be ashamed of.

RELATED: In Exclusive Interview, Israel Says “I’m Ready to Expand a Bit”

“This is a claim I have a lot of experience with,” the portly MP told The Mideast Beast. “My wife, for instance, tells me that I keep gaining weight.  But, I can’t help it if I have big bones!”  We tried to end the conversation there, but MP Cham insisted, “I tell people – my wife, my friends, the doctors – that I keep trying to lose weight,  but these damn big bones just won’t let me!  Any weight I gain on top of those bones is simply water weight, even if others don’t recognize that categorization!”  It appears that the MP does in fact have a good deal of “water weight,” and if he wishes to remain healthy in the future, he should shed those pounds.  One does struggle to comprehend how all those doughnuts are converted into “water weight.”