An explicit neologism coined by gay activists to protest Republican Mike Huckabee’s anti-LGBT policies is sweeping social media, inspired by a 2003 campaign aimed at fellow conservative 2016 presidential candidate Rick Santorum.
A group of self-proclaimed “Hucktivists,” using the #SpreadtheHuckabee hashtag, have given the pastor-turned-Arkansas governor’s surname a decidedly vulgar meaning. According to SpreadtheHuckabee.com, “Huckabee (HUK-eh-bee) is a form of Santorum, but bloodier. We define Santorum huckabeeum as ‘the frothy mixture of lube, blood and fecal matter that is often the by-product of first-time anal sex.’”
SpreadtheHuckabee.com also notes the etymological origin of the Republican politician’s last name: “The surname Huckabee is derived from the small community of Huccaby in southwest England, which gets its name from a compound of two Old English elements: woh, ‘crooked’; and, byge, ‘river bend’ – exactly what you should be doing during anal sex.”
The Huckitivists trace the idea to Tel Aviv’s recent Gay Pride festivities, when an IDF soldier screamed out, “ahhhh… it stings like a thousand fucking honeybees,” during an orgy with Jewish Log Cabin Republicans, Clinton donors and local peace activists who resent Mike Huckabee’s hard line on the Palestinian issue.
At a rally in Texas yesterday, a visibly angry Mike Huckabee vowed that “faith will triumph over filth,” promising drastic action: “As all good Judeo-Christians know, every man and woman’s anus is solely intended for pooing. And so when elected president, the first thing I’ll do is mobilize all moral Americans behind a constitutional ban on all forms of anal sex. Together we will restore America’s anuses to their God-given tightness.”
Coincidently, a Huckabee 2016 campaign video is entitled “Nailed shut.”
