Palestinian Man Demands “Right to Return” Shoes That Don’t Fit, Hundreds Gather to Accidentally Support Cause

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One of the largest rallies in recent memory took place in the West bank today, as hundred of Palestinians gathered to demand a right to return to the land they claim was stolen from them in order to create the State of Israel. The only problem is, they ended up supporting the wrong right to return.

“I just wanted to return my new sneakers,” said West Banker, Waseem Abdul. “The store owner told me that I couldn’t return shoes that I had already worn, but how was I supposed to know that they didn’t fit if I didn’t try them on? It felt great that so many people came out to join me in my fight for the right to return!”

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Abdul led the charge, with his comrades repeating his chants in defense of his rights. “I didn’t really get the part about the shoes,” said one protester, “but I think Israel needs to grant us our right to return to our ancestral homeland.” It doesn’t seem that Abdul was aware that the crowd wasn’t supporting him, but no one really had the heart to tell him either. Abdul went on to tell reporters, “I am so grateful for the efforts of my brothers and sisters! One day I hope to live in a world where my right to return is recognized, and then, I’ll get my money back! Or store credit, you know I’m not fanatical.”

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