Palestinian Authority Launches GoFundMe after US Aid Cuts

The Palestinian Authority has announced it will launch a GoFundMe page, after the U.S. State Department’s $80 million aid reduction and further threats from Donald Trump to cut all aid.

PA President Mahmoud Abbas decried the cuts. “After decades of brutal and humiliating occupation, this is a slap in the face of the Palestinian nation and will be devastating to its people. Our reduced circumstances will mean my new $13 million-dollar Presidential Palace will only have only one helicopter pad and no runway for my new $50 million private jet. Unacceptable!”

“Therefore, I have announced we will crowd-fund the remainder through our new GoFundMe page: This Land is Not Your Land, This Land is Our Land fundraising campaign. The money will be used to finance the second helicopter pad and a chocolate fountain that will represent the glory of the Palestinian people.”

“I mean how else am I supposed to fight for Palestinian independence without looking like an absolute baller? It’s not like I could pay for any of it myself.”