New Poll: 80% of Palestinian Men are Attracted to Israeli Women

Indicating a seismic shift in public opinion from just six months ago, a poll conducted by the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research (PSR) in the West Bank and Gaza Strip revealed that close to 80% of Palestinian men want to have sex with at least one Israeli woman.

“This doesn’t bode well for the cause of Palestinian independence,” Palestinian Authority spokesman Ayoob Al Kudsi said in a recent television interview.

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Al Kudsi, a known confidant of PA Chairman Mahmoud Abbas, lashed out at the PSR’s findings: “Our people must remain focused. Sure, Gal Gadot’s tight little buns stop traffic. And Bar Refaeli’s flowing blond hair reminds me of a warm safe place, where as a child I’d hide. Still, we must not allow Titi Aynaw’s toned thighs to shake our resolve.”

According to PSR pollster Badi Nagi, “For the first time in the history of the nation, a significant majority of Palestinian men say they can see themselves meeting, flirting, dating and making love to an Israeli female without any accompanying desire to blow her up.”

In response to his people’s evolving views, Al Kudsi is urging all Palestinian men to take a cold shower: “After decades of suffering, our cry for freedom is finally being heard around the world! However, our displacement will only end if every healthy, natural emotion is suppressed. Dear brothers, our future’s in your hands: use them.”