Middle Eastern Leaders Relieved to Learn of America’s ‘Deep State’

Saying that they are “thankful to Allah that that orange-skinned lunatic isn’t actually in charge,” rulers from across the Middle East are relieved to learn of a powerful “deep state” secretly running the US.

“I must admit, for a while I was quite concerned about these American ‘elections,’ as they call them,” Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi told The Mideast Beast. “It’s quite comforting to know that in America the elected government is virtually powerless and that a web of bureaucrats, generals and other shadowy figures make all the real decisions, just as it should be.”

After President Trump’s inauguration, Sisi was one of several Arab leaders who feared that, as elected president, Trump would be the one making key decisions about US domestic and foreign policy. But the administration’s revelation that the US has a “deep state” allowed these leaders, and many Americans, to breathe a sigh of relief.

But not all the region’s heads of state were thrilled at the prospect.

“It’s bad enough if Barack Obama is the secret leader of a shadow government,” Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told The Mideast Beast. “But please God, don’t make John Kerry the shadow Secretary of State.”

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