Israeli-Arabs Officially Demoted to Coach-Class Citizens

For years, Israeli-Arabs have complained that they are treated like second-class citizens in their own country. The Israeli government has long denied this claim, maintaining that Israeli-Arabs have enough rights and to stop being such a bunch of whiners. Now in response to the complaints, the Israeli government has decided to officially bump Israeli-Arabs from second class to coach class, the worst of the classes. The government has also announced that no meals will be provided, and that legroom has been reduced.

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“We just want to be treated equally,” commented Khaled, an Israeli-Arab Jerusalemite. “But now, we lose all our government benefits, and the stewardesses will ignore us, to boot.” Many Israeli-Arabs have protested the shift in policy, only to meet stern resistance and be forced to return to their seats.

“At least we’re not in Gaza though,” said Khaled, “there, Hamas officials are the only first-class citizens, and everyone else is basically those tiny bathrooms in the back that smell funny… citizens.”