ISIS Country Star Sharia Twain to Tour United States

ALABAMA – Sharia Twain, the rapidly emerging Salafi-Jihadi country music queen, has launched her US tour in Birmingham, Alabama. The music star is expected to unveil her new single, “Mammas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Shiites.”

Originally from Raqqa, Sharia Twain grew up listening to Tim McGraw and the Dixie Chicks in the days before the establishment of the Islamic State. In an interview, the country music star remarked, “I’ve loved country music but I always knew I wanted to pursue a life of Jihad against the western imperialists. With Jihadi-inspired country music, I can combine both my passions.”

Fans from around the state came out to see the show. One longtime fan remarked, “At first I really wasn’t sure about the whole Islamic State thing, but then I heard ‘Abu Ghraib Prison Blues’ and ‘I Walk the Sykes-Picot Line.’ Now I’ve got all her music, even her early stuff like, ‘He Stopped Stoning Her Today’ and ‘Ring of Hell Fire Missiles.’”

Another fan was overheard saying, “I love her music, but I wish I knew what she looked like under that black tent thing.” The tour will begin in Birmingham Alabama and reportedly end with a bang in Charleston, South Carolina.

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