Following the United States Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision to uphold President Trump’s travel ban, and Justice Anthony Kennedy’s decision to retire from the bench, Iran’s Supreme Leader is making a highly unusual bid to become a US Supreme Court Justice in the hope that he could help overrule the decision in a future case.
Mr. Ali Khamenei now appears to be prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to reverse the ban and allow his citizens entry into the US.
“As the final arbiter of any judicial and legal decision in Iran and with a penchant for arbitrary power, I feel I have ample experience of the justice system and am a suitable candidate to sit on the bench of the Supreme Court of the Great Satan. I even have the word ‘Supreme’ in my title”, the Iranian ruler commented. “Now that Kennedy’s leaving, I’m gonna make sure that I’m the most likely replacement. Altjhough I admit to being perplexed by this concept of peacefully giving up power. Is that a wide-spread thing? I hear Trump likes strongmen and doesn’t really give a shit about democracy so hopefully that will give me the edge and I can’t wait for the moment when he gives me that funny squinty look, points at me and shouts ‘you’re hired!’. Fingers crossed!”