President Trump’s eldest child stepped in over the weekend, offering to listen to the tape supplied by the Turkish security services of the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi.
A White House insider commented, “His dad didn’t want to listen on account of it being a ‘suffering tape, a terrible tape’, but Junior was all like, ‘it’s cool, I can listen while I’m in the gym getting my six pack in shape.’”
“So far, we think he’s listened to it over 20 times, only pausing to play his Phil Collins Greatest Hits compilation, which he’s also super into. He asked us yesterday whether we would pass on his contact details to the guys in Riyadh. I never really noticed before how really nice his business cards are. Embossed.”