Brexit Planners Look to Israelis and Palestinians For Inspiration

Stuck in a Brexit rut, the British have turned to Israelis and Palestinians for assistance. “We have very little time to plan our exit from the colonial, globalist grip of the EU. So, we reached out to Israeli and Palestinian leadership because of what they’ve been able to accomplish over the last 50 years,” noted one spokesperson from 10 Downing Street.

“If you look at what both sides have been able to accomplish – politically, economically and even culturally – there simply is no better example to emulate,” said Britain’s PM Theresa May during a press conference. “Sure, there’s the occasional barrage of rockets into Israel, and the always-expected retaliation by the IDF that follows, and then the always-expected stabbing in return. But this is Europe, and we have a long history of knowing how to even-temperedly deal with violence should any of our neighbors get over-confident. And if our friends in the Middle East have taught us anything, it’s that a constant state of low-level aggression and mistrust is when compromise is just right around the corner.”