James Bigly

 

UN to End All Conflict in Middle East by Bringing Back Ottoman Empire

UN to End All Conflict in Middle East by Bringing Back Ottoman Empire

NEW YORK — The United Nations has finally figured out a way to bring peace to the Middle East, by voting to bring back the Ottoman Empire. “Forget a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine, now we have a one-state solution, and it’s ruled by Turks. It’s perfect!” commented UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres. “No more wars between Israel, and well, everybody; no more Assad gassing his own citizens; no more Erdogan. Now all we have is rule by a...

U.S. Government Shutdown Affecting Life of Federal Employee Mohammad Salman

U.S. Government Shutdown Affecting Life of Federal Employee Mohammad Salman

RIYADH—The shutdown, entering its third week, has come down hard on all Federal employees, and  Saudi-born Federal employee Mohammad Salman is no exception. “This has been hard on my whole family, actually, especially my father His Majesty Salman bin Abdulaziz bin Abdul Rahman bin Faisal bin Turki bin Abdullah bin Mohammed bin Saud,” Salman commented sadly. “As a federal employee who relies heavily on the United States Government for his way of life, this is a let-down. All I usually...