The Prophet Muhammad admitted today that he was a bit disappointed to find that, 1,400 years after creating what he believed to be the perfect society in modern-day Saudi Arabia, the world seemingly has largely forgotten about him.
“I realize a millennium and a half is a long time, but I expected to find at least an occasional painting or sculpture of myself,” Muhammad told The Mideast Beast. “I see paintings of the Prophet Isa [Jesus] all over the place, and the Prophet Musa [Moses] was played by Christian Bale in a sweet biopic. Not to sound too pompous, but I think my life would make a pretty cool biopic. Maybe Will Smith, or if not at least Seth Rogan, could play me?
Muhammad said he at least expected to see statues of himself in Mecca and Medina, but found in these cities there were no artistic portrayals of him and therefore, he surmised, he has apparently no committed followers.
“I was featured in some French magazine a few times,” Muhammad explained, “but frankly the pictures of me were a bit weird. And a few years ago there was a movie about me, called The Innocence of Muslims, but it had very low production value and honestly, I don’t think many people saw it.”
While Muhammad admitted that it was tough to accept that he’d been more or less forgotten, he pointed out that things could be worse.
“At least now I don’t have to worry about crazy people blowing shit up or killing each other because of something that they think I said 15 centuries ago,” Muhammad sighed. “That would be really depressing.”