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New WikiLeaks Documents Reveal Saddam Hussein’s Love for Israel

New WikiLeaks Documents Reveal Saddam Hussein’s Love for Israel

Recently leaked correspondence between Saddam Hussein and his henchmen suggest that the late Iraqi dictator had a serious crush on Israel, a country he terrorized with SCUD missiles and whose enemies he publicly supported for decades. “I wish I knew how to quit her. So petite, with that perfect, slim waist and sparkling personality. Israel is just this side of...

Iranian State Media Wins Pulitzer for Gaza War Coverage
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Iranian State Media Wins Pulitzer for Gaza War Coverage

Press TV, Iran’s state-run media arm, was the big winner at the Pulitzer Prize award ceremony, winning multiple honors for its coverage of Israel’s 50-day war with Gaza last summer. The award for investigative reporting went to the network for its account of Israel’s attempt to take down a commercial airplane leaving Gaza City by releasing hundreds of venomous snakes in...

Hamas Declares Jihad on Animals in the Jerusalem Zoo
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Hamas Declares Jihad on Animals in the Jerusalem Zoo

Hamas has announced an uncharacteristic change in policy. The organization released a statement declaring their usual intent to destroy Israel, but this time, with something a little extra. “The animals living in the Zionist zoo will also be held accountable. They are as guilty of occupying Palestinian land as any big nosed bi-ped. Those meer cats might look cute, but...

ISIS Denies Book Burning

ISIS Denies Book Burning

ISIS has denied that it is burning important books despite reports that it removed some 3,000 titles from the Central Library of Mosul a few months back. Speaking exclusively to The Israeli Daily, the groups head librarian, Mustafa Reida, said that books were removed to make way for new acquisitions. “We recently purchased a large collection of new works and...

Iran Embarks on Campaign to Recruit 12 Million Truant Middle East Children
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Iran Embarks on Campaign to Recruit 12 Million Truant Middle East Children

The Islamic Republic of Iran is following up its signing of a historic framework deal with the West by reaching out to millions of school-aged children to help build the country’s nuclear infrastructure. “We’re street-legal, baby! But now that we’re in the clear, we have to hustle. Once the Western powers discover the plutonium plant we built underneath an ice skating...

ISIS Overturns Ban on Women Carrying Out Executions
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ISIS Overturns Ban on Women Carrying Out Executions

Responding to growing public outcry over gender inequality in its work place, ISIS’ leadership has voted to allow women the right to participate in all future hangings, burnings, beheadings, stonings and crucifixions. “Finally, change we can believe in!” exulted Amatullah X. “A woman’s role in establishing a global Islamic empire is no less important than a man’s,” the Jihadist added. Since...

Jews Tighten Grip on Hollywood: New Film Projects Push Zionist Version of History

Jews Tighten Grip on Hollywood: New Film Projects Push Zionist Version of History

A new Zionist conspiracy was confirmed Monday morning when five major movie studios greenlit, simultaneously, the production of ten new films that will promote a decidedly pro-Israeli narrative. “Yeah, we’re all in on it,” Viacom spokesperson Monty Sassoon said at a surprise press conference convened by the five most profitable film companies in the world. “And by the way, you...

ISIS Begins Broadcasting Executions in Simpsons Style Animation

ISIS Begins Broadcasting Executions in Simpsons Style Animation

With the whirlwind visit of Kim and Kanye in Israel, a possible US-Iran deal, the Russia-Ukraine crisis, and that annoying little problem called Global Warming all currently in full swing, ISIS has responded to being bumped off the trending lists of Google, Twitter and Yahoo! by infusing a dash of color into its normally grainy online offerings: Simpsons yellow, to be precise....

God laughs and makes bad things happen as he proclaims, ‘now you’re all screwed!’

God laughs and makes bad things happen as he proclaims, ‘now you’re all screwed!’

Addressing crowds from the clouds in a loud, booming voice, God, in his most recent address, informed those listening, “You’re all truly screwed!” “Look, people. I’ve told you time and again STOP KILLING EACH OTHER. I created you and I can end you. But did you listen?” “Now I’ve had enough. I’m bringing on the pre-Apocalypse and making shit rain down....

Iron Dome Selfies “not a good idea”
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Iron Dome Selfies “not a good idea”

A startling new report from the Institute of Basic Common Sense, suggests that in general people should use the time given by the warning siren of incoming rockets to seek immediate shelter for themselves and their families. In a move guaranteed to cause controversy it suggests that people using the time to position themselves for the perfect Instagram image are,...

“Times of Israel” Blogger Reshapes Middle-East Political Future
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“Times of Israel” Blogger Reshapes Middle-East Political Future

In statement released by the Prime Minister’s office this week, Times of Israel blogger and part time social-media activist Aharon Landenbaum has “forever changed the course of Israeli history.” Although Landenbaum offered no practical advice, or measures that could be taken to address the issues he raised, his one-time blog was heralded as “perhaps the single greatest intellectual achievement since...

United States Puts Israel In the ‘Friend Zone’

United States Puts Israel In the ‘Friend Zone’

In a clear sign of the continuously strained relationship between the US and Israel, and with Prime Minister Netanyahu’s speech to Congress, the White House has made the decision to put the Jewish State in the ‘friend zone’. ‘Friend zoning’ is a little-known Constitutional power given to the President, however, this is the first time it has ever been employed....

Hamas Set to Lift its Blockade on Israel
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Hamas Set to Lift its Blockade on Israel

As a ceasefire continues to hold between Israel and Hamas in Gaza (one of its beautiful beaches in the image above), Hamas has announced that it will lift its crushing blockade and restrictions on Israeli goods and citizens. The surprise move was meant as a showing of good faith and a peace offering to its Jewish neighbor to the north, east,...

Tel Aviv Man Only Person Surprised by Clinton’s Announcement For Presidency

Tel Aviv Man Only Person Surprised by Clinton’s Announcement For Presidency

Local Tel Aviv Resident, Etai Rosenfield, expressed complete shock when he learned of Hillary Clinton’s declaration that she will seek the presidency. “I just didn’t see it coming,” Rosenfield stated in an exclusive interview. “I mean, talk about an announcement that just came out of completely nowhere!” RELATED: Hillary Clinton denies having a Jewish heritage; admits to “slight resemblance” Research from...