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Iranian Leader Strangely Congratulates Ann Coulter’s Twitter Message
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Iranian Leader Strangely Congratulates Ann Coulter’s Twitter Message

Sources in Iran’s opposition movement report the Supreme Leader was ‘giddy as hell’ when he heard Conservative pundit Ann Coulter was tweeting about Jews and Israel during Wednesday night’s GOP debate. “How many f—ing Jews do these people think there are in the United States?” read her post accusing presidential hopefuls of pandering to Jewish voters. The source revealed Ayatollah...

114 Israelis, 42 Palestinians Dead (Statistically)
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114 Israelis, 42 Palestinians Dead (Statistically)

When two parties have been warring for decades in a seemingly endless conflict, death becomes a mundane occurrence. Rampant hatred results in a brutal cycle of violence which ebbs and flows almost like clockwork. Within this context, it’s not unsurprising that many deaths go unreported. Many consider the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to be the most intractable in the world, and still...

Academy Awards to Add Category for Jihadi Propaganda Films
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Academy Awards to Add Category for Jihadi Propaganda Films

Following the release of an Iranian ISIS-like video threatening the United States with annihilation, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the creation of a new category of jihadi anti-Western cinema for the 2016 Academy Awards. The category, officially listed as “Outstanding Live-Action Jihadi Short,” was created to accommodate the slew of anti-infidel videos coming out of the Middle East, many...

‘Islamic State’ just not that into day-to-day politics
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‘Islamic State’ just not that into day-to-day politics

The ‘Islamic State’ (IS) has expressed surprisingly little interest in the makeup of the new Iraqi government, spokesman Nidal Nuseiri said. “This hum drum daily grind stuff just isn’t our thing. We like to deal in broad strokes, preferably in a downward direction.” “I’m sure it makes the Satan worshipers over in Washington feel good to see the new Cabinet...

Israel Considers Banning Arabs from Science Classes after Arrest of Muslim Boy ‘Bomber’ in Texas
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Israel Considers Banning Arabs from Science Classes after Arrest of Muslim Boy ‘Bomber’ in Texas

JERUSALEM – Citing fears that they will use their classroom knowledge to “open a new front of jihadist terror,” Israel’s education minister has taken the extraordinary step of proposing a bill, dubbed ‘The Next Ahmed’s Law,’ to prohibit hundreds of thousands of Arab school children from attending science lessons. In a televised press conference, Naftali Bennett, leader of the religious...

Texas Police Break Up ISIS Sleeper Cell at Local Middle School
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Texas Police Break Up ISIS Sleeper Cell at Local Middle School

Authorities in Texas announced Thursday that they have uncovered an ISIS sleeper cell at a local middle school, leading to the arrest of three 13-year-old Muslim students. Police said they decided to launch an investigation of the students after learning all three had “weird-sounding last names”. They soon made several more shocking finds. None of the young men had shaved...

Report: There Goes the Neighborhood as U.S. to Receive Syrian Refugees

Report: There Goes the Neighborhood as U.S. to Receive Syrian Refugees

The United States is preparing to accept at least 10,000 Syrian refugees in the next fiscal year, which begins October 1. Secretary of State, John Kerry, told lawmakers in a closed-door briefing this week that the numbers could be as high as 100,000, “But don’t tell anybody.” U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services, U.S. Refugee Admissions Program and Department of Family...

NSA Discreetly Begins Lifelong Surveillance of 14- Year Old Ahmed Mohamed
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NSA Discreetly Begins Lifelong Surveillance of 14- Year Old Ahmed Mohamed

Calling him a hero, a role model and a victim of baseless discrimination, the National Security Agency nonetheless quietly agreed to enact around-the-clock surveillance on 14-year-old Ahmed Mohamed, who was arrested after a clock he brought into his high school in Irving, Texas was mistaken for a bomb. “Ahmed is a role model, and it’s tragic and disturbing that the...

Christians in Iraq and Syria Celebrate Kim Davis’ Release

Christians in Iraq and Syria Celebrate Kim Davis’ Release

Calling it a huge victory for religious freedom across the globe, Christians in Iraq, Syria and several other Middle Eastern countries took to the streets last week to celebrate Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis’ release from prison. “It’s been hard to enjoy our freedom here knowing that in America Mrs. Davis is behind bars just for being a Christian,” said...

After Shooting of Mexican Tourists, Trump Plans to Hire Egyptian Army to Guard Border
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After Shooting of Mexican Tourists, Trump Plans to Hire Egyptian Army to Guard Border

After Egyptian security forces mistakenly killed eight Mexican tourists Saturday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump proposed tasking the Egyptian Army with protecting the United States’ southern border. “Clearly, the Egyptians know how to deal with the Mexicans,” Trump declared. “And these Mexicans that the Egyptians killed, they were law-abiding citizens. So just imagine what they’d do to the illegals!” Trump said...

New Academic Study Finds Being Anti-Islamic Not as Economically Damaging to One’s Wealth as Being Anti-Semitic
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New Academic Study Finds Being Anti-Islamic Not as Economically Damaging to One’s Wealth as Being Anti-Semitic

“We have found that different types of bigotry have different levels of impact when it comes to how wealthy you are,” University of Plovdiv Professor Goyam Tsvete stated in the abstract of this latest study. The Bulgarian academic team rushed out their findings in the wake of a recent study that showed a positive correlation in Germany between areas where...

Saudi Survey Questions Women’s Rights to Drive
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Saudi Survey Questions Women’s Rights to Drive

Focus groups were conducted in Saudi Arabia to explore the social, political and economic ramifications of allowing women to drive in the kingdom. The conservative monarchy, not known for its support of women’s rights, did not allow women to be part of the research sessions and is reluctant to make known any of its findings. The Mideast Beast however, was...

Jews, Arabs Stage Pro-Peace “Flash Orgy” on Temple Mount
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Jews, Arabs Stage Pro-Peace “Flash Orgy” on Temple Mount

JERUSALEM – A lewd mass protest on one of the world’s holiest sites ended in violence on Friday, with dozens hospitalized and hundreds arrested. Disguised as both tourists and Muslim worshippers, over 300 Israelis and Palestinians of various ages, genders and sexualities converged on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem’s Old City at midday to stage what media outlets have dubbed...

Doctors: Iranian Leader Will Not Exist in the Next 25 Years
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Doctors: Iranian Leader Will Not Exist in the Next 25 Years

In response to the Iranian leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s most recent Twitter tirade – basically an ongoing dialog with himself that Israel won’t survive the next twenty-five years, doctors at Israel’s Mt. Masada Hospital have determined the Supreme Leader, who is 76 years old, won’t live to be 101. “Those next twenty-five years he speaks of aren‘t going to be kind...

Campaign for More Female Terrorists Begins
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Campaign for More Female Terrorists Begins

Western, leftist part time ‘human rights activists,’ full time idiots have today announced a new campaign for better equality in terrorist attacks against Israel and other democracies. In a surprising turn of events, university campuses across the Western world have begun condemning ISIS and Hamas for the first time. Motions have been put forward in the vibrant democracies that are...

Iran Considers Using Refugee Human Walls at Nuke Sites
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Iran Considers Using Refugee Human Walls at Nuke Sites

Impressed with Donald Trump’s views on building walls and separating people, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khomeini is considering uniting people as walls. The plan calls for building a barricade around the Parchin nuke site and other nuclear facilities, consisting solely of Syrian refugees to deter Israeli air strikes and possible US military action. Moderate front man, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani,...

God Covers Shameful State of Mideast Affairs With Giant Dust Storm
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God Covers Shameful State of Mideast Affairs With Giant Dust Storm

With the number of casualties and refugees created by the Syrian civil war continuing to grow, Israeli-Palestinian tensions beginning to boil over, and the spread of ISIS through the region, it’s no wonder that God just couldn’t stand to look at the Middle East anymore. It was as a result of all this violence and strife that the Creator decided...