In an exciting development for tinfoil hat wearers everywhere, sources have confirmed to The Israeli Daily that last summer’s spot of trouble in a little strip called Gaza had been orchestrated to improve the bottom line of international arms dealers and their shadowy shareholders.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, the whole thing was basically concocted to enrich the Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Knights Templar and the Clintons.
“The cat’s really out of the bag now” admitted Hamas’ Business Development Director, when confronted with the accusation. “Who the hell blabbed about our super-secret meetings in this delightful six-star Maldives beach resort? I bet it was Obama! That guy just can’t keep a damn secret.”
The IDF’s Vice-President for Commercial Operations almost choked on a canapé when news of the leak reached him, “Oh come on! We had a sweet thing going on here. Do you think those peaceniks in parliament would cough up for Iron Dome if it just sat by the side of the road gathering dust? I don’t think so.”
He concurred that the current US President was probably responsible for the leak, “he’s never forgiven us for refusing to tell him who really shot Kennedy or letting him have a ride on our UFO.”
Merchant of death Jacob Blitzer refused to comment and just continued to stroke the white cat on his lap before boarding MH370 to fly to his next meeting in Donetsk.