New Saudi King’s Cabinet is Tubular to the Max

King Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, Kremlin.ru [CC BY 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Saudi Arabia’s new King Salman ordered a major cabinet reshuffle on Thursday that reflects the monarch’s love for 1980s American television.

“Even though he’s eighty, King Salman loves the ’80s!” exclaimed Saudi government spokesperson Felix al-Faisal. “His royal freshness’s throne room is filled with classic arcade games; Centipede, Super Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong, and Pac-Man. It’s bombdigity. You think I’m trippin’? Why do you think government officials are all of a sudden wearing neon-colored pastel t-shirts and linen suits? Royal decree, dude.”

RELATED: Saudis learn lessons from Vatican in leadership change

The changes to the Saudi Arabian government were announced in 30 royal proclamations that were piped over public address systems across the kingdom with Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ album blaring in the background.

King Salman’s new cabinet will include a surprising amount of 1980s television icons including:

  • David Hasselhoff: Chief of Intelligence.
  • Mr. T: Head of the National Security Council.
  • Cybill Shepherd: Governor of Riyadh.
  • Kirk Cameron: Minister of Hajj.
  • Angela Lansbury: Minister of Justice.
  • ALF: Minister of Defense & Aviation.
  • Suzanne Somers: Minister of Health.
  • Tony Danza: Supreme Commission for Tourism.
  • Catherine Bach: Minister of Foreign Affairs.
  • Bill Cosby: Minister of Petroleum and Mineral Resources.

In surprising related news, Italian fashion model Fabio was sworn in earlier today as Israel’s new Minister of Pensioners’ Affairs.