In an open letter to media outlets around the world, the Grand Wizard of the KKK has requested urgent clarification on the exact status of President Obama. “This is a matter of the greatest importance, as all we read about now is how the president is actually a Muslim or an ‘Islamic’; we already know he ain’t been born in America. What we in the Klan want to know is, what happened to him just being an uppity nigger?”
“I mean the guy is clearly black, wife is black, kids are black, and his pa was African black! It’s pretty straight forward to us: that alls adds up to nigger.”
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“We just don’t wanna to be left behind. Is Muslim the new word for nigger? We only ask because saying, ‘OMG look, there’s a nigger in the White House!!!’ is simple and clear to us. But it just seems wholly unlikely to us that he’s secretly worshipping another Abrahamic religion for some completely implausible plot to destroy America. Come on people, what happened to the good ol’ days? Why can’t he just be a nigger and want to destroy our way white America? Can’t things be as black and white as that?”
“But what we are all certain about is that he cannot be a Muslim and a Communist. We may be massively racist but we sure as hell ain’t fuckin’ stupid.”