After learning that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu leads in the polls for the upcoming election despite the latest scandal regarding his campaign finances, former Florida Governor Jeb Bush announced this week he is ‘actively exploring’ a run for the Israeli premiership.
“The guy has a 38-percent approval rating and might be on the verge of winning a third straight term? By that logic George Jr. should still be in office,” commented Bush. “And I thought the Republican field for U.S. president was weak, but then I started looking at Israel’s candidates. Rick Perry, Ted Cruz and Rick Santorum look like Washington, Lincoln and Roosevelt next to these guys.”
Bush, who had been considered a formidable candidate in the United States, was plagued by questions of ideological purity due to his controversial policy of not executing illegal immigrants while governor of Florida.
“I was very excited to learn that Tzipi Livni, who had been in Netanyahu’s party, then ran against him, then joined his government, and then got fired and called him garbage, is still in the running to become prime minister,” Bush said. “And Netanyahu’s constant flip-flopping on Palestinian statehood? The guy makes Mitt Romney look resolute.”
Jeb’s announcement comes after a series of polls showed the Jewish state as the only country in which hearing his last name did not make its citizens burst out laughing. In related news, Prime Minister Netanyahu announced yesterday he is forming an exploratory committee for the presidency of The Federates States of Micronesia; if that fails, The African Paradise, known as Somalia, is always an option.