Israeli Jews Call for Ban on Muslims Bending Over During Prayer, Citing “Air Pollution”

© Mathes | Dreamstime.com - Praying Muslims Photo

An Israeli Jewish organization has rejected accusations of racism after it issued a public call for a nationwide ban on Muslim men prostrating themselves during prayer.

“Put simply, it stinks,” said Betzalel Gizanni, head of the recently formed Jewish Coalition against Arab Anal Pollution (JCAAP). “Millions of men bending over five times a day in a position that encourages farting constitutes a threat to national security – for the sake of the purity of Jewish respiratory systems, we demand that Muslims cease terrorizing the Land of Israel with this odious and clearly insidious practice!”

When pressed by the Mideast Beast on whether he was simply engaging in crude stereotyping in order to suppress religious liberty, Gizanni – who lives in a West Bank settlement abutting a Palestinian village – retorted: “On windy days after evening Muslim prayers, we just can’t get the smell of Arab dingleberries out of our mouths. How exactly is it racist to ask that my family be able to enjoy our chicken schnitzel in peace?”

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A fellow JCAAP member, who runs a restaurant overlooking Jerusalem’s Temple Mount, told TMB: “Aside from the stench, just yesterday a 76-year-old grandmother from Palm Springs vomited onto her falafel platter when, after taking a break to look at the view through her binoculars, she was assaulted by the sight of scores of upturned brown-stained backsides staring back at her! At the very least, a mandatory black-trousers-during-prayer policy must be implemented…”

Meanwhile, an NGO called Eco-Apartheid is using JCAAP’s incendiary campaign to raise awareness of what it terms “the true pollution issues at play.” Speaking to TMB from Ramallah, a spokesperson cited Israeli toxic waste dumping in the West Bank, shelling of sewage plants in Gaza and the construction of a major chemical industrial zone right next to a Bedouin village, before adding: “The scent of Palestinian dingleberries in Zionist nostrils is the least we can do to return the favor!