The Mideast Beast Staff in Hiding

Dear Readers,

I, together with the rest of The Mideast Beast staff, write from beneath the Israeli-Gazan border.

Following the attack on satirical French weekly Charlie Hebdo, us satirists have been placed in an uncomfortable position (not that we mind, that’s kind of our bag, if we are to be slaughtered for saying what needs to be said, do we have the balls big enough to say it?

While this debate raged publicly, we’ve formulated a plan, to flee underground and write without the threat of being attacked by deranged terrorists with nothing better to do. For this reason, we chose to avoid places like Syria, Iraq and Birmingham, England (Thanks Fox News for the update on the latter). Though ‘The pen is more mighty than the sword’ is lovely in theory, we figured that in a real life battle situation, the pen is actually a lot shorter and blunter and, unless it’s filled with acid or poison, is not actually that mighty in terms of self-defense.

So here we all are, plotting the resistance movement. We will continue writing, and saying what needs to be said. If it ain’t controversial, it ain’t fun. You can’t please all of the people all of the time, and the world functions better when people get pissed off. It’s natural. It’s necessary. It’s the line which prevents us from living in dictatorships.

We here at The Mideast Beast, and our fellow underground colleagues, will not cease to write what needs to be thought, said and heard. If you cut one of us down, even more severely underpaid and overexcited writers will emerge twofold. And they might not even be funny.

We, the satirists, will not be intimidated into creative submission. Viva les satirists, and viva forever.