Israel has bad feeling it didn’t call Baroness Warsi after that one night…

Photo property of UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office; Baroness Warsi in Downing Street, 2012; Link to photo licence:

Israel is coming to terms with the fact that not calling Baroness Warsi after that drunken night at the “Rock for Peace” concert in Berlin last summer was a mistake. “Look I’m a little hazy about the whole thing,” admitted the Jewish Homeland.

“Me and the Ivory Coast were just chilling in the VIP room and this delegation from the House of Lords rocked up. They were all pretty wasted already and this one chick asked me to guess what she had under the Ermine Robes.” The Jewish State continued, “I was like whoa!!, settle down lady. You’re not confusing me for Lebanon are you? Cause that happens a lot.” Anyway one thing led to another, hey I’m a Mediterranean country, so don’t judge me, it’s in our geography. And I’m not proud, when I woke up, I was looking straight at Finland’s junk, and I was just straight out of there and on the first El Al flight back.”

Middle East one-night stand expert Rona Habibi was not surprised. “We see this sort of thing all the time. We have to place a lot of the blame on the fact that Israel simply cannot hold its drink.

It’s a little known fact that the 1948 War was in large part down to a massive drunken make-out session with Egypt whilst parked near the Suez Canal. Guess who never called?”