The Colorado Civil Rights Commission is once again pressing charges against Masterpiece Cakeshop Owner Jack Phillips after the Christian baker declined to make an ISIS-themed cake celebrating a gay bar mitzvah.
Phillips, whose previous refusal to bake a cake for a gay wedding ended up with the case in the Supreme Court, told The Mideast Beast that creating the cake would violate his personal beliefs. But he also noted that he was blindsided by the commission’s ruling, since no one had requested this cake in the first place.
“What would such a cake even look like?” a confused Phillips asked The Mideast Beast. “I don’t think gay bar mitzvahs are a thing.”
In addition to the landmark Supreme Court case, the commission recently ruled that Phillips violated the civil rights of an attorney who requested a cake celebrating a gender transition, a cake featuring Satan smoking marijuana and a cake showing Satan licking a functional dildo. [Editor’s note: This paragraph is not satire. The commission actually ruled that denying these requests violated the customer’s civil rights.]
But in failing to bake the ISIS cake, the commission said Phillips had committed his worst atrocity yet.
“Rejecting a gay ISIS bar mitzvah cake is an act of bigotry against three of the most persecuted groups in America,” one Colorado Civil Rights Commissioner explained. “It is a hate crime against Muslims, the LGBTQ+ community, and awkward teenage boys.”