It may sound like a hip sushi bar in Tel Aviv but ‘Chop-chop square’ is anything but. This is one attraction you won’t find in your ‘Places to Visit in Saudi Arabia’ tour map. The large public square in Riyadh is where ‘heads go a rollin’. In the past few years alone, hundreds of Saudi melons have been lobbed off with the swings of Arab Samurais. No one in the Arab World matches the Saudi’s strict adherence to Shari’a Law and executions…until now.
In the high-stakes game of ‘sever the noggin’, the fast-growing ‘Islamic State’ has bet large. The Saudis may have chop-chop square but the Islamic State has an even bigger one. It’s called Iraq and Syria. “The Saudis and their cute little square” quipped one IS member. “They swing the scimitar because of crimes against Islamic Law; we just slice and dice because you don’t look like we do in the mirror.”
But it appears that the IS has taken the “by the sword” mantra a bit too far. Apart from beheading innocent journalists, as well as Christians, Jews, and Yazidis, they are also beheading Muslims faster than you can say ‘French Revolution ain’t got nothing on this’. “Yup, we realize we may have removed too many heads,” said one proud Katana owner. “After so much work to build the state, there aren’t many people left to kill and now we’re just bored. We’re thinking, ‘invade another country?'” The lack of decapitations has caused members of IS to feel lost, and may even be a signal that their newly formed institute for the mentally insane, or Islamic State as they refer to it, could collapse.
“Pff, amateurs,” said one Saudi executioner. “Leave the chop-chop to the experts little boys.”