Politics

Bomb Shelter, Bomb Shells!
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Bomb Shelter, Bomb Shells!

With the recent upsurge in rocket fire thanks to Switzerland-by-the-Sea, Israelis living in the South have taken to using their bomb shelters, which has displaced their normal residents. “This shit is getting ridiculous. There’s almost no where to smoke and have sex with my boyfriend” complained an anonymous 12-year-old girl from Sderot. “It’s really unfair.”
 “Yea, it’s terrible,” complained Mohamed...

Governor Jay Nixon calls on IDF
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Governor Jay Nixon calls on IDF

Dissatisfied with the performance of the National Guard, Governor Jay Nixon calls on the IDF to “bring order to the chaos” in Ferguson. As violence in Ferguson spirals out of control, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon is calling for help from an unlikely source: Benjamin Netanyahu, the Full-Time Israeli Prime Minister and part-time over-50s Gap Model. The Governor spoke before a...

Hamas gives Ultimatum on Airport via Instagram
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Hamas gives Ultimatum on Airport via Instagram

Day 44 Since the collapse of the peace talks in Cairo, Hamas made an announcement via Instagram video of their latest request, followed by a threat. In poor Hebrew and using the 1977 filter, Hamas operatives stated “If we don’t get the 100 million NIS airport with a complete water park, KFC, and the nice security line that doesn’t make...

Snowden reveals ‘Galloway’

Snowden reveals ‘Galloway’

Edward Snowden has recently revealed that a Mossad spy has infiltrated into Muslim groups in the UK. Little is known about the shadowy figure that is believed to have been recruited in Scotland about 30 years ago, and goes only by the code name ‘Galloway’. “Ya Allah! This is so like 24!” said Abdul Abdul, spokesman for the West and...