Afghanistan

Taliban Appoints Carole Baskin Defense Secretary
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Taliban Appoints Carole Baskin Defense Secretary

Hopes that the Taliban would show a gentler, less evil face their second time in power were dashed Wednesday, as the Afghan militant group appointed alleged murderer and Tiger King star Carole Baskin to lead the military. Baskin, who is suspected of killing her husband and feeding him to tigers in 1997, said she will show mercy to resistance fighters...

Breaking: Taliban Now Controls 12 Working McFlurry Machines Left Behind by U.S. Troops
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Breaking: Taliban Now Controls 12 Working McFlurry Machines Left Behind by U.S. Troops

In another embarrassment for the United States, it was revealed on Monday that U.S. Troops left behind a dozen extremely rare, fully functional McDonald’s McFlurry machines in a hangar at Bagram Air Base. The machines were quickly seized by militants. As the Federal Trade Commission investigates why most McFlurry machines in America are currently broken, the oppressive and misogynistic Taliban...

‘I Was on Ambien When I Pulled Out of Afghanistan,’ Biden Says
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‘I Was on Ambien When I Pulled Out of Afghanistan,’ Biden Says

Seeking to deflect blame for the disastrous US withdrawal from Afghanistan, President Joe Biden now says he had taken the sleeping aid Ambien before planning the hasty withdrawal from the country. “I’m not heartless, just an idiot,” Biden tweeted. “I mixed up my pills before meeting with the generals about Afghanistan and took Ambien instead of my Donepezil. By the...