Boaz Bulbulovitz

Boaz Bulbulovitz is a senior correspondent at The Mideast Beast, and author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning “My Prick Is Holier than Yours: Why the Temple Mount Is Nothing More than a Petty Genital Size Contest.” As The New York Times Book Review put it, Bulbulovitz “wields his pen like a trigger-happy penis, penetrating the deepest recesses of Judeo-Islamic fascism.”

Born and raised in the religious West Bank settlement of Beit Zayin, Bulbulovitz was disowned by his family after many a steamy IDF shower session convinced him that he was gay. He then spent a decade traveling – developing a love of hashish and Muslim men in Morocco, Theravada Buddhism in Thailand and raging progressivism in the Netherlands – before returning to Israel to study law. Now a full-time writer, Bulbulovitz is currently working on his fourth book, “Pan-Semenites: How Gay Jews & Arabs Can Together Solve the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict,” and lives in Jaffa with his Cairo-born husband, footballer Tiz al-Jizzum, and their twin Boxers, Allah and Hashem.

Follow him on Twitter https://twitter.com/bulbulovitz

 

Clinton Backs Deportation of Anti-Abortionists after Planned Parenthood Clinic Shooting

Clinton Backs Deportation of Anti-Abortionists after Planned Parenthood Clinic Shooting

Only days after a gunman killed three people and wounded several others at a Planned Parenthood Clinic in Colorado, Democratic U.S. Presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton has proposed that the U.S. deport all citizens who oppose abortion. “They’re a Trojan Horse… a festering fifth column that must be crushed. In an ideal world, I’d ship them to Iran, Saudi Arabia or any number of women-hating countries,” the former U.S. Secretary of State told a rally in Northern California on Saturday. “If...

To Trump’s Disgust, Muslim Mexican Wins Miss Universe

To Trump’s Disgust, Muslim Mexican Wins Miss Universe

LAS VEGAS – In a world first, a Muslim contestant has won the Miss Universe competition, the beauty pageant formerly owned by GOP U.S. Presidential candidate Donald Trump. 22-year-old Mexican Amora Aziz-Alvarez beat out finalists from 14 other countries to claim the 2015 crown. 1st Runner-Up was Lindiwe Tambo from South Africa, followed by China’s Li Jiao. In her acceptance speech at Planet Hollywood Las Vegas Resort & Casino, the new Miss Universe praised her late immigrant father: “My dad,...

GOP Candidates: Transfer U.S. Muslims to Desert Reservation

GOP Candidates: Transfer U.S. Muslims to Desert Reservation

America’s three million-plus Muslim citizens should be forcibly relocated to a designated territory in the country’s West, according to a number of Republican U.S. presidential contenders. In a FOX News interview, GOP candidate Dr. Ben Carson said that, “in lieu of the ideal option – deporting all of the country’s Muslims back to where they came from – I propose creating a land-locked reservation for them within the U.S. to prevent future terror attacks on home soil.” Under Carson’s plan,...

Madonna to Adopt One Israeli, One Palestinian Child

Madonna to Adopt One Israeli, One Palestinian Child

Just a few weeks after reports surfaced that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in the process of adopting a boy from war-torn Syria, Queen of Pop Madonna – already mother to two adopted children from Africa – is reportedly looking to adopt two more, this time from the volatile holy land. According to reports on various celebrity news sites, Madonna – aside from her desire to “shower them with love, multiculturalism and unbridled materialism” – is to time the...

Report: Iran’s Supreme Leader Undergoes Emergency Gerbil Extraction Surgery

Report: Iran’s Supreme Leader Undergoes Emergency Gerbil Extraction Surgery

TEHRAN – Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is reportedly in critical condition after being hospitalized suffering from acute lower gastrointestinal perforation. According to multiple Iranian sources, the 75-year-old Supreme Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran was rushed to an undisclosed Tehran hospital late Saturday night after two gerbils, which became lodged in his rectum, gnawed their way into his bowel. Khamenei allegedly came across the erotic act of gerbilling – in which one places a rodent, often after injecting it with psychoactive...

Israel Considers Banning Arabs from Science Classes after Arrest of Muslim Boy ‘Bomber’ in Texas

Israel Considers Banning Arabs from Science Classes after Arrest of Muslim Boy ‘Bomber’ in Texas

JERUSALEM – Citing fears that they will use their classroom knowledge to “open a new front of jihadist terror,” Israel’s education minister has taken the extraordinary step of proposing a bill, dubbed ‘The Next Ahmed’s Law,’ to prohibit hundreds of thousands of Arab school children from attending science lessons. In a televised press conference, Naftali Bennett, leader of the religious Zionist ‘Jewish Home’ party, said: “We just can’t take the risk. Teaching Muslim kids about chemical reactions, electric circuits and...

Jews, Arabs Stage Pro-Peace “Flash Orgy” on Temple Mount

Jews, Arabs Stage Pro-Peace “Flash Orgy” on Temple Mount

JERUSALEM – A lewd mass protest on one of the world’s holiest sites ended in violence on Friday, with dozens hospitalized and hundreds arrested. Disguised as both tourists and Muslim worshippers, over 300 Israelis and Palestinians of various ages, genders and sexualities converged on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem’s Old City at midday to stage what media outlets have dubbed a “flash orgy.” The participants, who described their provocative protest as a non-violent effort to promote peace between their two...

Report: ‘Megalomaniac’ Obama to Run for Kenyan Presidency

Report: ‘Megalomaniac’ Obama to Run for Kenyan Presidency

With just over a year left of his second term, U.S. President Barack Obama is planning to contest the next Kenyan presidential election, according to a controversial FOX News report. Citing what it claims are well-placed White House sources and leaked extracts of his draft presidential memoir, the 12-minute “Exposed: Obama’s Blackprint for World Domination” levels multiple allegations against the U.S. president, going so far as to outline his alleged “multi-stage plan for enslaving the world’s Caucasian population.” At first,...

Clinton to Donor: In Next War, I’ll Let Israel Kill 200,000, Not Just 2,000, Gazans

Clinton to Donor: In Next War, I’ll Let Israel Kill 200,000, Not Just 2,000, Gazans

Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton has penned a controversial letter to a major Jewish donor vowing to offer Israel “total” support in its next war with the Gaza Strip’s Islamist rulers. The leaked letter, sent last week to an Israeli-American media mogul, promises to allow Israel carte blanche in any future war with Hamas, including a presidential green light to kill nearly 10% of the enclave’s population. “Quite frankly, Israel didn’t teach Hamas a harsh enough lesson last year,” reads the...

Santorum-inspired #SpreadtheHuckabee Campaign Goes Viral

Santorum-inspired #SpreadtheHuckabee Campaign Goes Viral

An explicit neologism coined by gay activists to protest Republican Mike Huckabee’s anti-LGBT policies is sweeping social media, inspired by a 2003 campaign aimed at fellow conservative 2016 presidential candidate Rick Santorum. A group of self-proclaimed “Hucktivists,” using the #SpreadtheHuckabee hashtag, have given the pastor-turned-Arkansas governor’s surname a decidedly vulgar meaning. According to SpreadtheHuckabee.com, “Huckabee (HUK-eh-bee) is a form of Santorum, but bloodier. We define Santorum huckabeeum as ‘the frothy mixture of lube, blood and fecal matter that is often...