Saudi Royals on Recent U.S. Health Care Bill: ‘Well Played, Trump. Well Played.’

By Ali Shaker/VOA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Saudi royals have tipped their hats to President Trump following the vote to repeal and replace Obamacare. Their spokesman commented, “Trump may be onto something. Honestly, we’ve always gone for the short-term solution in treating our citizens like shit, such as beheadings every Friday afternoon in Chop-Chop Square. And while we’re way ahead of ISIS in melon-slicing, it’s definitely not a long-term solution to hurting our own people. Now, take away our universal health care system and the long-term results are bound to be in our favor. Win!”

A royal family member noted, “You know, it’s not just the millions of people without health care, it’s the little things he promised during campaigning about health care, such as ‘pre-existing conditions will remain covered’. Ok, that was a good one, I admit. I mean, everyone knows that we’re ruthless with our own people, especially women, but that was a beauty. They’re even lumping rape survivors and domestic violence victims under ‘pre-existing conditions’, which may not be covered. And you know where we stand on those issues. Ruthless! Love. It.

The king himself commented, “It’s nice to see America taking our lead and putting an old billionaire in office. And with his son-in-law being lined up as his successor we’ve never felt more comfortable with America. Don’t get me wrong we liked the Muslim you had before, but this is next level shit.”