ISIS Leader Not Sure How to Top Trump’s UN Speech

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is reportedly scrambling to revise his speech to the United Nations, after US President Donald Trump raised the bar by threatening to annihilate North Korea.

“I had all these hair-raising lines about how we would meet America with a force never seen before, show no mercy and bring death and destruction,” Baghdadi told The Mideast Beast. “But then Trump threatened to destroy an entire fucking country. I mean, that’s some dark shit. How am I going to top that?”

Scheduled to speak Thursday, Baghdadi has been digging deep into history to try to find an equivalent threat he could offer.

“That Genghis Khan guy did some bad stuff, but even he didn’t destroy a whole country,” Baghdadi noted. “Maybe I’ll just have to remake myself as a pacifist.”