Extreme wedding crashers, known as ‘Lehava‘, have been praised for drawing attention to the most pressing threat to Israeli security to occur since Israel’s Independence: crazy Israeli-Jews.
For some time analysts have been torn between deciding whether continued moves by Iran to marry long range ballistic missiles with nuclear weapons or the zone of insecurity caused by the fighting in Syria and Iraq were greater threats to the Jewish Homeland.
Other, clearly misinformed, pundits have been drawing attention to the inability to enact a two-state solution with the Palestinians as a major roadblock to long lasting peace.
However thanks to Michael Ben-Ari we now all appreciate that the real threat is even closer to home. Ben-Ari is a spokesman for Lehava, a Hebrew acronym that can be translated as “preventing assimilation in the Holy Land” or “Moon howlingly, bat-shit, one lunatic short of an asylum crazy bunch”. The translation can get confusing.
Tomer Michael, a non-crazy from Tel Aviv was however confused. “Like many others, I lost relatives to the utter evil that was Nazism. So, you see the thing is if we were to place ‘Nazism’ as a ‘100’ on the scale of worst things that can happen, I’m finding it hard to think of a negative number where I could place two nice looking people, who look very much in love, despite their different backgrounds, declaring that they want to build a home and settle down together, and incidentally, showing us that love can conquer all and bring us hope in these dark times. ‘negative 1,000,000 ish’ seems about right.”
Mr Ben-Ari was not available for comment at the time of going to press as he was too busy chewing the carpet and ordering non existent Army Divisions to form a final defensive perimeter around his bunker.
In related news: the Jewish-Muslim couple remain happy in love. Can we really ask for more?
