Steve Hadcock

Stephen Hadcock is a former Hamas militant who became a Zionist after falling in love with Maccabi Tel Aviv football team. He has long been a supporter of the 2,3,4,5 and 6 state solution but now advocates an 18 state solution based on the former boundaries of the Roman administration, which he lectures on across the world.

 

In Response to UN Settlements Resolution, Zionist Moon Base Plans Revealed

In Response to UN Settlements Resolution, Zionist Moon Base Plans Revealed

In response to the recent United Nations Security Council resolution regarding Israeli settlements, Prime Minister Netanyahu announced Israel will be launching a space expedition from its Palmachim Airbase to find suitable land to build new settlements on. Naturally, the Obama administration condemned the decision without really knowing why but mainly because of a nagging doubt that if Netanyahu wants to do it, it’s probably wrong: “Jewish…I mean Israeli settlements, have no right to be there,” President Obama commented. Across the pond...

“Israel Is Not a State Mr President!”

“Israel Is Not a State Mr President!”

Iran has welcomed historic developments as Obama announced that Israel was not a State. The President made the hastily prepared remarks after being politely informed during a game of ‘Name All 50 US States”’ on a flight to Saudi Arabia that Israel was not in fact a US State as he had initially thought. Obama explained Israel’s constant demand to be recognised as the ‘Jewish State’ had fed his misunderstanding: “Florida is famous as the Sunshine State, New York as...

Israel’s Parliament to Vote this Month on Condemning the UN’s Occupation of Numerous Countries

Israel’s Parliament to Vote this Month on Condemning the UN’s Occupation of Numerous Countries

A spokesman from the Prime Minister’s office made it clear that the Knesset, Israel’s Parliament, believed a military presence of a foreign entity, such as the UN, in a disputed region is not right and that it amounted to an immoral colonization and occupation of the land. “The UN places soldiers in disputed regions across the world citing security concerns,” the spokesman said, “However, we just don’t believe them. It’s ideological I’m sure, regardless of the evidence, so we must condemn...

Obama admits having ‘soft spot’ for naughty countries

Obama admits having ‘soft spot’ for naughty countries

Barack Obama has admitted he has a soft spot for ‘bad boy’ countries and conceded this is having a negative impact on his foreign policy decisions. “There’s something just so daring about countries like Iran and Cuba,” a giggly Obama told The Mideast Beast. “One moment you’re blowing up the same crazies in the desert and all seems wonderful and the next day they want to wipe you off the map… I find it exhilarating!” RELATED: Khamenei Stops Nuclear Talks, Citing...

Islamic State’s Porn Industry Condemned

Islamic State’s Porn Industry Condemned

The Islamic State today condemned the new nation’s porn sector after one leading production studio released a 30-minute length adult movie entitled “Giving Head to an Infidel.” The film was already expected to be controversial after leaked news it would star an Arab Christian. Yet, this paled in comparison to the outrage expressed by citizens in the caliphate today. The caliphate, known for its predilection for removing heads, felt the film’s name was insulting to their achievements over the last...

Campaign for More Female Terrorists Begins

Campaign for More Female Terrorists Begins

Western, leftist part time ‘human rights activists,’ full time idiots have today announced a new campaign for better equality in terrorist attacks against Israel and other democracies. In a surprising turn of events, university campuses across the Western world have begun condemning ISIS and Hamas for the first time. Motions have been put forward in the vibrant democracies that are student unions calling for ‘resistance groups’ in the Middle East to do more to encourage female participation in terrorist attacks....

Palestine Soccer Team to Play Israel…For a State

Palestine Soccer Team to Play Israel…For a State

Israel has confirmed Palestine can have its own country if it beats the Jewish State at a game of soccer. In an interview with The Mideast Beast, an Israeli spokesman said they were confident in the challenge as “apparently we shoot all the good Palestinian footballers anyway.” BDS activists said that they would boycott the event if Israel were to use human walls to protect its goal should Palestine receive any direct free kicks. RELATED: Israeli Leaders Debate Pettiest Way to Respond to Palestinian Hague Bid...

“Psyche! We never wanted a bomb”, says Iran

“Psyche! We never wanted a bomb”, says Iran

An Iranian whistle blower, probably working for Mossad, has told The Israeli Daily that the Islamic Republic’s attempts to obtain nuclear power and weapons is just a smokescreen for the nation’s way to pick the next Supreme Nutter. The rules state that budding Ayatollahs and other crazies have to come up with the most outrageous statements without hindering peace talks. The leading contender so far has been the military who got away with ‘Death to America’ without anyone, anywhere thinking that...

Anti-Zionists: Hitler against Circumcision not Jews

Anti-Zionists: Hitler against Circumcision not Jews

The anti-Zionist Lobby have claimed they, just like Adolf Hitler, are not anti-Semitic and that both they and Hitler’s chief targets are coincidentally Jews. In a hard hitting interview with The Mideast Beast, the head of a coalition of groups contradictory in every one of their values except being against Israel, claimed Hitler was not against Jews but had legitimate concerns about circumcision. RELATED: Urban Outfitters Unveils New “I watched the Nazis murder my family, and all I got was this...

Palestinian Economy Now Banking in Switzerland

Palestinian Economy Now Banking in Switzerland

Reports are emerging that the whole Palestinian economy has been transferred to a Fatah-held bank account in Switzerland. The move comes after most of the Arab world abandoned Hamas and ISIS soared in the rich list. Hamas, who has over 300 millionaires in their ranks, is often seen cruising around the tax haven but if the resistance group is behind the latest move, it is surely a sign of escalation in their campaign of debauchery. “Taxes are capitalist and capitalism is...

Israel Strikes Deal Over Death Quotas

Israel Strikes Deal Over Death Quotas

Netanyahu’s is to fly to the European Union’s HQ in Brussels tomorrow morning to discuss an agreement with the anti-Israel lobby on how many Israelis must die in conflicts with terror groups. The quota, which is likely to be too low to satisfy ‘liberals’ whatever the figure, will allow a certain amount of indiscriminate and unprovoked rockets to hit civilian areas in Israel. The Center-Left party, The Zionist Union, has welcomed the move with it’s leader Herzog saying an agreement...

#AskHamas is trending… Hamas starts beheading

#AskHamas is trending… Hamas starts beheading

Hamas has executed the head of its twitter feed after claiming he was a ‘Mossad agent.’ In an ironic twist Hamas decided on removing the head’s head as the form of execution, pointing out such a method was ‘bang on trend.’ The decision was made after the bungling media wing of the fun loving terror group had the bright idea of launching the #askhamas campaign in English across social media. “We can’t let people actually know what we’re like!” exclaimed...

Hurray for Pallywood!

Hurray for Pallywood!

It’s all “Lights, Cameras, Action” this year and we don’t mean the sky above Gaza. That’s because the Palestinian Authority has announced it will open Pallywood Studios in Syria after the roaring success of its summer collection of short films and photographs in 2014. Previously only shot with a hand camera, a dose of deceit and editing software, the new centre will offer 1,000 jobs to Hamas and Fatah officials with none for the general Palestinian public. Speculative internships are welcome. RELATED: In...

The Men From E.V.I.L.

The Men From E.V.I.L.

Naftali Bennett, Israel’s Minister of Economy and man that gives new meaning to ‘right-wing’ has announced he has endorsed the efforts of a bloc of nations in the UN self-styled E.V.I.L. who have condemned the lack of recognition by the Security Council of their villainous antics. E.V.I.L., which stands for Every Violation In Law, is a campaign group started by Iran to gain more public awareness for ‘unappreciated nations’ that it describes as having “a proud record in human rights...

ISIS to Summer in Italy

ISIS to Summer in Italy

Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi has extended his welcome and given travel advice to ISIS for their planned summer holiday to capture Rome. Renzi told The Mideast Beast that the jihadists will be a much needed boost to the ailing economy, which has seen tourism hit particularly hard. “We’ve seen a massive influx of visitors and martyrs to Syria, Iraq and Libya because of ISIS, which have seriously helped the local economy,” Renzi said, “As I say to the young girls…...

Hamas have announced they will open a PR company after a successful summer of fooling everyone

Hamas have announced they will open a PR company after a successful summer of fooling everyone

In a statement the group described ideal trading conditions as the reason behind the announcement saying ISIS, Tony Blair and the Zionist Union had approached them for advice. “Every left wing person seems to love Hamas across the world,” said the Zionist Union, “We want to know their secret to win the election for us and I guess also for Israel, who we have to pretend to like for a bit.” “We may be shit at destroying Israel and killing...

Hamas Signs for Disney World

Hamas Signs for Disney World

Disney World has unveiled Hamas as their new signing in Florida this morning. The move comes as Qatar agreed upon mutual consent with the organisation to part company after the petro-state expressed disappointment in Hamas’ failure in achieving its objectives of wiping Israel off the map. Disney World has been flirting with Hamas for a while now, since a delegation headed by Mickey Mouse made guest appearances in Gaza on children shows last year. Upon such visits Mickey made a number of...

ISIS Split Over George Bush Invitation

ISIS Split Over George Bush Invitation

ISIS is reportedly on the verge of splitting after the leadership sent an invitation to former US President George W. Bush to become a honorary life member of the Caliphate as a sign of gratitude for his services to Islamic extremism. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi stood by the decision, “Look here, when Boko Haram in Nigeria attack neighboring Chad the link to George Bush is quite clear,” the Caliph explained. “The leader of a country in one continent invading a country in...

Hamas Annexation of Israel For Peace

Hamas Annexation of Israel For Peace

Naftali Bennett (on the right, image above), the leader of the religious-Zionist political party called “Jewish Home” has told the The Israeli Daily (TID) that if he becomes Prime Minister he may consider letting Hamas annex Israel for peace, citing pressure from student unions in the West. “We know the pressures these student unions are putting us under,” Bennett solemnly acknowledged. “When 30 or 40 students decide to pass motions demanding Israel withdrawal from the West Bank, we really feel...