Journalism has been in Roger Pumper’s blood since he began his first paper route in Kabul, Afghanistan, at the age of seven. After graduating from Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, Pumper worked as a fact-checker for Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly. Pumper was awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for his investigative reporting on Iraq’s WMD program, though the award was later revoked. Pumper currently resides on a goat farm outside Kirachi, Pakistan.
New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio nearly ordered police to break up an Antifa protest, mistaking the group of young men clad in black for Orthodox Jews rather than his intended left-wing base. “There are reports of a mass gathering of violent-looking young men, covered in black from head to toe, rampaging through New York City and spreading their...
Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has once again found himself at the center of a controversy, as comments made during a recent policy speech have forced the Turkish government to take over all administrative duties for the Israeli city of Jerusalem. Israeli officials ecstatically handed over control after Erdogan told Turkish lawmakers that “Jerusalem is our city,” an apparent reference...
The US and other western countries have ended their war against the Islamic State after its leader, Abu Ibrahim al-Qurashi, declared that ISIS is “not an organization but an ideology.” “I am not a terrorist or the leader of a terrorist organization,” al-Qurashi explained. “I am just an idea, an ideology, a thought floating through the air, so there’s really...
In an effort to prevent violence and maintain order, the United Nations announced that it will send 5,000 armed Peacekeepers to Miami for the October 15 presidential debate. Peacekeepers will join the candidates, President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden, on stage to make sure bloodshed does not break out during the 90-minute debate. The soldiers have been...
Looking to avoid a proxy fight that would cost the lives of hundreds or thousands of soldiers and civilians, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei have agreed to resolve the dispute between Armenia and Azerbaijan through a steel cage match between the two leaders. If Erdogan wins the match by either pinning his opponent or...
Opponents of Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei have accused the ayatollah of wearing an earpiece during his recent sermons so aids can remind the octogenarian to wish “Death to America.” Iranian dissidents and opposition leaders have noted that the 81-year-old Khamenei has often appeared confused in recent years and are demanding that a third-party inspector check the ayatollah’s ears for...
Russia has recalled its ambassador to the US after President Donald Trump’s recently published tax returns revealed that he paid almost nothing to the Russian government in federal income tax. The news infuriated Russian President Vladimir Putin, who questioned the president’s patriotism and accused him of being a tax dodge. “President Trump should be paying billions of rubles in taxes,...
US Court of Appeals Judge and Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett founded the Islamic State terrorist group and led it during its formative years, according a story in Newsweek magazine. The magazine later issued a correction, noting that it was in fact Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, who is of no relation to Barrett despite having the same first and last...
The Mideast Beast has learned that New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez backed out of an event honoring former Palestinian Liberation Organization chairman Yasser Arafat after one of the representative’s Twitter followers pointed out that Arafat had visited and negotiated with Israel. Ocasio-Cortez was set to attend Jewish Voice for Peace’s Yom Kippur brunch, which will be held on Monday to...
In a fiscal feat thought impossible amid record stimulus spending, US President Donald Trump has balanced the federal budget simply by asking Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s to reimburse the White House for his laundry costs. Trump’s decision came after The Washington Post reported that Netanyahu regularly brought suitcases and bags full of laundry, which White House staff cleans for...
In a finding that has stunned epidemiologists and upended medical consensus, researchers have now discovered cases of COVID-19 infection in nations without 5G development. Leading researchers have long believed that the novel coronavirus is caused by waves emitted from 5G cell towers. But in Iran, where there is no 5G infrastructure, satellite images have shown mass graves dug to bury...
With Congress debating the next round of stimulus funding in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, a group of international affairs analysts led by former Obama advisor Ben Rhodes is demanding a federal bailout. The proposal would create a universal basic income, or UBI, for experts in the Middle East who are no longer employable in their field due to years...
The United Nations General Assembly passed a resolution Tuesday condemning the concept of peace after leaders from the US, Israel, the UAE and Bahrain signed the Abraham Accords normalizing relations between Israel and the Arab Gulf countries. The resolution, which passed 157 to 7 with 15 abstentions, called peace a “crime against humanity and a Zionist tool.” “Peace is a...
Israel has taken another step towards acceptance in the Arab World, agreeing to sign a landmark normalization agreement with New York-based fast-casual Middle Eastern chain “The Halal Guys.” The deal was announced just days after the country, long an outcast in the Muslim world, was officially recognized by Bahrain. Israeli Prime Minister is set arrive on Wednesday in Manhattan, where...
Al Qaeda’s attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001 were not intended as an act of terrorism but were in fact a failed attempt at a dramatic gender reveal, senior leaders of the terror group acknowledged. The now-waterlogged al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, was looking to announce the sex of his daughter, Safiyah,...
Democratic congresswomen Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib have begrudgingly come out in support of the far-right anti-government “Boogaloo Boys” movement after members of the group were arrested for providing material support for Hamas. Omar and Tlaib, sporting Hawaiian shirts and camouflage pants, announced their backing of the group in a press conference Tuesday. “We aren’t fans of their white supremacy...
*Reposted as a timely #ThrowBack article (originally posted in 2016)* Washington, D.C. — He says he would have prevented the 9/11 attacks, he’s criticized Senator John McCain for being captured during the Vietnam War, and presidential republican nominee Donald Trump shows no signs of backing down, as Trump yesterday blasted all Iraq war veterans as “a bunch of pussies...
Looking to limit devastation caused by Antifa and other vandals and arsonists, Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler announced that the city will resume controlled burns of properties in the downtown business district. Since the beginning of riot season, the abundance of flammable material such as cars, homes, and shops has contributed to out-of-control arson and vandalism throughout the city. Portland officials...
Noting that the nation’s first president was extremely problematic, a committee has recommended removing George Washington’s name from the nation’s capital and renaming the city after someone less controversial like former PLO leader Yasser Arafat. The committee, formed by DC Mayor Muriel E. Bowser to examine problematic statues and monuments, noted that Washington was a slaveholder, was not a vegan...
Islamic terror group ISIS has seen a surge in popularity, particularly among left-leaning millennials, after officially changing its name to “Anti-ISIS.” The group emphasized that it has not altered its mission or ideology and will continue to inflict mass casualty attacks on innocent civilians, primarily in the Muslim World. But calling itself Anti-ISIS has allowed the group to frame all...
