Norma Plum

 

Lower Than Normal Terror Stats Prompt Immediate Promise of More Hell

Lower Than Normal Terror Stats Prompt Immediate Promise of More Hell

Low Suicide Bombing numbers this past Ramadan have led to a call for an emergency meeting between terrorist organizations belonging to the United Jihad Nations BAHHL SAQ (Boko Haram, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, Hamas, Hezbollah, Islamic State, Shabaab/Al-Qa’ida) in order to step up their coordination’s on unleashing chaos and misery across the Middle East. “The death toll was simply not high enough this year,” states an alarmed UN Secretary General and sitting member of the BAHHL SAQ Human Rights Committee Ban-Ki-Moon....

Low Sugar Supply in Palestinian Territories and Terror Attacks in Israel Correlated

Low Sugar Supply in Palestinian Territories and Terror Attacks in Israel Correlated

Weeks following the attack at a Max Brenner Cafe at Sarona Market in Tel Aviv, an internal investigation led by Shin Bet, Israel’s Internal Security Service, has come to a terrifying, albeit important discovery. “When sugar supplies begin to run low in the Palestinian Territories, an impending attack on Israelis is imminent,” states Yuval Diskin, head of security, referring to the ancient Palestinian tradition of handing out sweets on the street after murdering Jews in cold blood. “At first, we thought a sugar...

Palestinian Leaders Propose #Jexit Vote after Historic #Brexit ‘Leave’ Campaign a Success

Palestinian Leaders Propose #Jexit Vote after Historic #Brexit ‘Leave’ Campaign a Success

Immediately after the results on the #Brexit vote came in, with the United Kingdom voting to leave the European Union, Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas gathered with his cabinet to draft a new peace proposal with Israel. “If the United Kingdom can vote democratically to exit the European Union, then the Palestinian People can join the European Union to drive, vote the Jews out of Palestine.” Confused by the statement, representative members of Hamas, Fatah, and a 13-year old boy holding a...

Mideast Leaders to Use Game of Thrones Strategies for Peace Initiative during Month of Fast

Mideast Leaders to Use Game of Thrones Strategies for Peace Initiative during Month of Fast

As chaos and civil war continues to grow in the Middle East, Middle Eastern leaders have gathered in honor of Ramadan, in attempt to restore order and quell tensions during the holy month. “By following the last four episodes of GOT Season 6, which Allah has so generously brought forth to us to coincide with our holy month, we will surely be able to work less and pray more as we effectively impose the show’s strategies on our people.” Beginning...

Rising Anti-Semitism, Rising Waters; God’s Going Old School on Europe

Rising Anti-Semitism, Rising Waters; God’s Going Old School on Europe

It’s no secret that anti-Semitism has risen to an all time high over the past few years in Europe with France, Britain, and Germany again becoming the least liveable countries for the visibly or openly Jewish population – and God has had enough. “Can anyone say, ‘deluge’?” Once targeted with “Go Back to Palestine” graffiti in the 1930’s, the same narrative applies today, yet in reverse. “Leave Palestine” is the new trend, as a number of Europeans continue in their...

Hamas to Attend Cinco de Mayo Party after Consulting on Terror Tunnels with Mexico’s President

Hamas to Attend Cinco de Mayo Party after Consulting on Terror Tunnels with Mexico’s President

Marking the 154th anniversary of Cinco de Mayo, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto is set to host a top Hamas official at his celebrations dinner this evening following days of discussions between the two leaders over the construction of underground tunnels – a project President Nieto anticipates may become a reality after Donald Trump has become the presumptive Republican Party nominee. Set to begin construction in July, shortly after Trump may officially become the official Republican Party nominee, the tunnels,...