Boaz Bulbulovitz is a senior correspondent at The Mideast Beast, and author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning “My Prick Is Holier than Yours: Why the Temple Mount Is Nothing More than a Petty Genital Size Contest.” As The New York Times Book Review put it, Bulbulovitz “wields his pen like a trigger-happy penis, penetrating the deepest recesses of Judeo-Islamic fascism.”
Born and raised in the religious West Bank settlement of Beit Zayin, Bulbulovitz was disowned by his family after many a steamy IDF shower session convinced him that he was gay. He then spent a decade traveling – developing a love of hashish and Muslim men in Morocco, Theravada Buddhism in Thailand and raging progressivism in the Netherlands – before returning to Israel to study law. Now a full-time writer, Bulbulovitz is currently working on his fourth book, “Pan-Semenites: How Gay Jews & Arabs Can Together Solve the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict,” and lives in Jaffa with his Cairo-born husband, footballer Tiz al-Jizzum, and their twin Boxers, Allah and Hashem.
Follow him on Twitter https://twitter.com/bulbulovitz
Gaza’s prime minister announced today that six attack tunnels leading into Israel had been demolished, claiming they were “dens of homo-Zionist depravity.” Speaking on Al Aqsa TV, Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh alleged that hundreds of Gazan and Israeli men had been meeting regularly in the tunnels to engage “in acts of bestial proportions,” and that even though the destroyed tunnels degraded...
Less than a week after erroneously claiming that Israel killed “over 10,000 innocents” in the 2014 Gaza War, Democratic U.S. Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has earned the endorsement of the Islamist group Hamas. “Sanders is just our kind of Jew,” said Hamas spokesman Sami Abu Zuhri on Al Aqsa TV yesterday. “Whereas Hillary Clinton is a Zionist c**t from hell, Sanders...
OXFORD – Despite boisterous Israeli Apartheid Week events held at universities across the globe recently, organizers of an initiative fighting gender inequality in Saudi Arabia are reporting poor attendance and a pervasive mood of apathy among students. “No one seems to care that 15 million Saudis live as second-class citizens,” bemoaned Oxford Saudi Apartheid Week (SAW) co-organizer, Yasmine al-Sharifi, amid...
BOCA RATON – After his resounding victory in Florida’s GOP presidential primary, elderly Jewish Floridians who voted for Donald Trump have admitted that they don’t get what all the fuss is about. Sitting in the dining room of Beth Tzion, Palm Beach County’s Jewish old age home, 82-year-old resident Hymie Rosenberg praised the controversial GOP frontrunner for his “strength, wisdom...
LOS ANGELES – A Jewish American college student has won $300,000 in damages after she was viciously assaulted at an Israeli-organized falafel promotion event last year. In August 2015, at the opening of the Israeli Foreign Ministry-sponsored International Falafel Pride Week, 19-year-old Natalie Gadoloff was nibbling on her deep-fried mass of ground chickpeas when a group of BDS activists began...
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a bid to distance himself from his older brother’s checkered legacy, GOP presidential candidate Jeb Bush has promised a major shift in U.S. Mideast policy. “The Iranians are not the only ones supporting extremism in the region: the Saudis are just as much to blame,” Jeb Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post. “Read...
NACO, AZ – After his recent call to ban Muslims from entering the U.S. led to global outrage and his rumored disinvitation by Israel’s prime minister from a scheduled late-December meeting in the Holy Land, Donald Trump has returned to a more familiar campaign theme. While in Naco, Arizona on his second such campaign trip to the U.S.-Mexico border, the...
After Donald Trump said that she got “schlonged” by Barack Obama in the 2008 Democratic Presidential primaries (‘schlong’ is a Yiddish word for penis), Hillary Clinton has responded with even greater vulgarity. Taking to Twitter, the usually restrained Democratic front-runner made a series of lewd remarks-cum-threats to the characteristically unrestrained Republican front-runner, starting with: “.@realdonaldtrump Lube up, Donny Boy, because...
TEHRAN – Iran’s Supreme Leader has launched “a holy war on the satanic mutilation practice” of genital piercing, citing a “Zionist plot to destroy our Islamic values.” “We must eliminate this ravenous cancer before it devours the very soul of our nation,” warned Ayatollah Ali Khamenei at an emergency session of the Iranian parliament yesterday. “As such, all those found...
NEW YORK – Chanting slogans like “United We Shag, Divided We Fall,” “Fight Racist Fearmongering with Interracial Lovemaking,” and “Brown is Bonkaliciously Beautiful,” thousands staged a massive orgy today in front of Manhattan’s Trump Tower – home to both the GOP front-runner’s campaign and corporate headquarters, as well as his primary residence. Amassing outside the Fifth Avenue skyscraper at noon,...
SAN DIEGO – Just days after pronouncing ‘Hamas’ as ‘Hummus,’ GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson invoked male fluid emission when threatening Ali Khamenei, Iran’s Supreme Leader. Addressing a gathering of security-focused Republican donors in San Diego, the former neurosurgeon – who has been criticized for his lack of foreign policy acumen – vowed to not only “rip up” the contentious nuclear...
Only days after a gunman killed three people and wounded several others at a Planned Parenthood Clinic in Colorado, Democratic U.S. Presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton has proposed that the U.S. deport all citizens who oppose abortion. “They’re a Trojan Horse… a festering fifth column that must be crushed. In an ideal world, I’d ship them to Iran, Saudi Arabia or...
LAS VEGAS – In a world first, a Muslim contestant has won the Miss Universe competition, the beauty pageant formerly owned by GOP U.S. Presidential candidate Donald Trump. 22-year-old Mexican Amora Aziz-Alvarez beat out finalists from 14 other countries to claim the 2015 crown. 1st Runner-Up was Lindiwe Tambo from South Africa, followed by China’s Li Jiao. In her acceptance...
America’s three million-plus Muslim citizens should be forcibly relocated to a designated territory in the country’s West, according to a number of Republican U.S. presidential contenders. In a FOX News interview, GOP candidate Dr. Ben Carson said that, “in lieu of the ideal option – deporting all of the country’s Muslims back to where they came from – I propose...
Just a few weeks after reports surfaced that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are in the process of adopting a boy from war-torn Syria, Queen of Pop Madonna – already mother to two adopted children from Africa – is reportedly looking to adopt two more, this time from the volatile holy land. According to reports on various celebrity news sites,...
JERUSALEM – Citing fears that they will use their classroom knowledge to “open a new front of jihadist terror,” Israel’s education minister has taken the extraordinary step of proposing a bill, dubbed ‘The Next Ahmed’s Law,’ to prohibit hundreds of thousands of Arab school children from attending science lessons. In a televised press conference, Naftali Bennett, leader of the religious...
JERUSALEM – A lewd mass protest on one of the world’s holiest sites ended in violence on Friday, with dozens hospitalized and hundreds arrested. Disguised as both tourists and Muslim worshippers, over 300 Israelis and Palestinians of various ages, genders and sexualities converged on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem’s Old City at midday to stage what media outlets have dubbed...
With just over a year left of his second term, U.S. President Barack Obama is planning to contest the next Kenyan presidential election, according to a controversial FOX News report. Citing what it claims are well-placed White House sources and leaked extracts of his draft presidential memoir, the 12-minute “Exposed: Obama’s Blackprint for World Domination” levels multiple allegations against the...
Democratic presidential front-runner Hillary Clinton has penned a controversial letter to a major Jewish donor vowing to offer Israel “total” support in its next war with the Gaza Strip’s Islamist rulers. The leaked letter, sent last week to an Israeli-American media mogul, promises to allow Israel carte blanche in any future war with Hamas, including a presidential green light to kill...
An explicit neologism coined by gay activists to protest Republican Mike Huckabee’s anti-LGBT policies is sweeping social media, inspired by a 2003 campaign aimed at fellow conservative 2016 presidential candidate Rick Santorum. A group of self-proclaimed “Hucktivists,” using the #SpreadtheHuckabee hashtag, have given the pastor-turned-Arkansas governor’s surname a decidedly vulgar meaning. According to SpreadtheHuckabee.com, “Huckabee (HUK-eh-bee) is a form of...
